“Antonio,” The sweet, sympathetic voice of Maria Torres said as she spoke to her brother. “I know how torn you must be, but it just isn’t right to keep them in limbo like this. You have to end it.”
“I know Maria…” Antonio said, a picture of pure misery. He hadn’t been able to eat, sleep, anything for the past few days. His heart ached for both of them. Gabi was so vulnerable and so needy, he had to make sure that she was okay and he couldn’t bare to think of her hurting because of him. She had seen so much pain and sadness in her life, first with her father and then with Ricardo and Paula…It was just wrong that she be put through more.
But Annie…Annie was so special, and in her own way, just as vulnerable. She had been there for him when he needed her the most and he couldn’t even imagine a life where he couldn’t go to her and see that beautiful, loving smile and have his whole world just brighten up instantly. She had a magical way of making everything right with just a look.
He was really, truly torn between which one he loved more. They were both a part of him and they had both given so much of themselves to him. He didn’t want to let either down.
“Look, sweetie, I have to go. Someone’s on the other line. You call me if you need me, okay? Just say the word and I’ll be there.” Maria said softly. She wanted to protect her little brother, as she and Ricardo always had. Antonio had a sort of naivete to him, an innocence, and he could be hurt so easily…and when he did hurt, his suffering seemed to encompass his entire being so that it was almost painful to watch.
“I’m fine…really, I am Maria.” He insisted. “I’ll call you soon, though.”
“’Kay. I love you, little brother, and don’t you forget that.”
“Love you, too, Maria.” He said almost
mechanically and hung up, slouching back onto the couch. A picture of Annie
and him stared back at him from where it sat on top of the television.
It had been taken just a few months ago, when they had both went back to
Sunset Beach for Maria’s birthday. They were sitting, with her on his lap,
on one of the swings on the beach near the pier, Annie’s arms wrapped around
his neck and they were both grinning happily. “Gaad, why is this so hard?”
Antonio moaned, his hands covering his eyes in an exhausted motion. He
raked his fingers through his hair and stood up, knowing that he had to
do. For the past week his mind had been filled of thoughts about Gabi and
Annie…his past and his present…and which would define his future. He knew
what he had to do. He knew that this was the only way. Picking up the phone
again, his lips pursed grimly and he started dialing.
Gabi stepped out of the house three hours later feeling more energetic and upbeat than she ever had. Antonio had called her and asked her to meet him at the coffee shop a few blocks away from her place. Surely that meant that he had chosen her. But, that nagging little voice in the back of her head prompted, Annie may not have played her card yet. She had worried greatly over the fact that Annie was pregnant. She had come to three conclusions: 1.) Antonio surely wouldn’t want to be with Annie once Gabi told him that Annie had actually gloated about getting pregnant. 2.) That it might not be Antonio’s child. After all, judging by the company she had kept in Sunset Beach, who knows who Annie had been with. And finally, 3.) That the love she and Antonio shared could overcome anything. Including this child. She had faith in him and she had faith that what they had was stronger than all of this.
Of course, had she been able to look at the situation objectively, she would have quickly found the flaws in all of those. Antonio Torres was not the kind of man that would leave a child without his father just because of the mistakes that his or her mother had made. And, for the second one, Antonio knew Annie, and he obviously felt a deep affection for her. He would know if she were cheating on him, and besides, Annie had never been unfaithful to Gregory Richards when they were married. And she was so determined to get Antonio that she must feel enough for him not to blow it by sleeping with someone else. Last of all, Antonio obviously loved Annie as much, if not more, than he loved Gabi because he was having such a hard time choosing between them.
But Gabi was not being objective and she foolishly clung to the hope she had presented herself with. She found him standing outside the broad glass door, looking away. She could immediately see how weary he was. He didn’t even notice her until she reached out and touched his arm. He smiled, but the gesture didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Gabi.” The way he said her name told her something…something she liked. But just seeing those emotions didn’t make everything automatically right. She had found out long ago that sometimes the basic feelings, the love and friendship just wasn’t enough.
“Antonio…” She breathed his name in a teary voice. She couldn’t help it. She had felt the tears burning behind her eyes the moment she saw him, and she couldn’t hold them back. She was an emotional wreck right now, and just the sight of Antonio set her off.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry.” Antonio said, taking her hand. “Come on, lets go for a walk. You’re not really hungry, are you?”
“No, I’m not…a walk sounds nice.” Gabi let him lead her away. Her gaze remained steadily fixed on him. “So…”
“I guess you know why I wanted to talk to you.” He said softly. She nodded, almost dreading what she was about to hear. “Gabi…I’ve made up my mind. I…” He started to say, but stopped. Gabi saw his face turn a ghostly pale and then she realized what was happening. “Annie-“ He said, then stopped. “You’re early. I-…you weren’t supposed to be here for another half hour-“
“I see why.” Annie said disdainfully as she glared at Gabi, not even bothering to mask her hostility.
Gabi carefully contained her anger, for Antonio’s sake. This was going to be especially hard for him now that he was faced with both of them. “Well, Annie, Antonio was just about to say what decision he had made.”
“That so?” Annie smirked. “Well, don’t you agree that he should know everything first?”
Gabi felt her pulse racing. She had been counting on Antonio telling her what decision he had made before Annie told him that she was pregnant. “I think we should let Antonio make his decision.”
“I think all of the facts should be laid out first.” Annie insisted lethally.
Antonio, who was thoroughly confused, said through pursed lips. “What facts, Annie, what do you have to tell me? And how did Gabi find out?”
“Antonio…you’re a decent man. I know you are. You wouldn’t… say …leave a woman that’s going to have your child alone would you? And run off with some little floozy that seduced you, right?” She said.
“What-?” Antonio said, not understanding her. “Annie, what the does this have to do with anything.”
“C’mon, think about it.” Annie said. He did…and still nothing. “Gaad,” Annie moaned, frustrated. “You are such a…a man.”
“Annie, just tell me-“
“She’s pregnant!” Gabi burst out. Antonio stood still, practically in shock. Annie was glaring furiously at Gabi for stealing away her moment.
“Is…is it true?” He asked incredulously.
“Yeah,” Annie was still sulking.
Gabi’s eyes were trained on Antonio. She could tell something was going on inside of him, something big. He was shaking his head very lightly, as if to deny the whole thing was taking place. “No…” He whispered. He looked up and his eyes met Gabi’s. She had stepped away from them, giving him the space he so desperately needed.
“Antonio.” She said, capturing his attention, as well as Annie’s suspicious gaze. “I’m going to go.”
She didn’t want to cry in front of Annie. She didn’t even want to leave. The last thing she wanted was to admit weakness to her sworn enemy. It would be like handing Antonio over to her on a silver platter, like admitting she was giving up. But Antonio needed time to get used to this.
“Good riddance.” Annie spat out.
“Annie.” Gabi said firmly. “Why don’t you accompany me?”
“Why the hell would I do that?”
“Because I asked you to.”
“No way. I’m staying with Antonio-“
“Annie.” Antonio interrupted. “Could you please just give me a little time?”
Annie’s icy cerulean eyes bored holes into Gabi as she grudgingly stepped back. She leaned over and kissed Antonio on the cheek, making one last claim, and then walked away. She started off in the opposite direction than Gabi needed to go in, but Gabi followed anyway. Once they were securely out of Antonio’ visual range, Gabi walked faster and caught up with Annie, grabbing her arm roughly. “What the hell do you want?” Annie said, as vicious as a spitting cobra.
“I want to tell you something.” Gabi took a deep breath. “I want you to know that if he chooses you, and if he does then it will only be because of this baby, that I’ll leave you both alone. I don’t want to hurt Antonio. But, if he does choose me, then I want you to promise you’ll do the same.”
“Now why would I do that?” Annie asked, a bemused expression on her face.
“Because…” Gabi wasn’t quite as confident as she had been when she had grabbed Annie. “Because it’s what’s best for Antonio…” It came out more of a question than a statement.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong, sweetie. What’s best for Antonio is me. And I’m gonna have him, whether you like it or not.”
“What if he doesn’t want to be with you?” Gabi dared Annie.
“Then at least I’ll know he won’t be with you.”
“How can you know that? Maybe this baby isn’t enough. I know he’ll want to be a father to it, but what if he still doesn’t want to marry you?”
“Then I’ll have to live with it. But, like I said, I can make sure he doesn’t want to be with you. Because, Miss Martinez, I know you’re secret.”
“My secret? Annie, I’m not the one who has a secret.”
“Oh, yeah you are, Miss Sweet and Pure. You have a big secret, one Antonio would hate you for. And you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Oh God…” Gabi said, her breath coming in short gulps. Annie couldn’t know…it wasn’t possible…this couldn’t be happening. She had gone to great lengths to make sure that no one knew about that…”You can’t…how did you…”
“While you were at home sulking and pigging out on rocky road while you prayed that Antonio came back to you, I was out doing my homework and making sure that he didn’t. I have a few very loyal friends in Sunset Beach who were more than happy to spill about the little Latino who begged them to keep quiet.”
“You bitch.” Gabi said, tears filling her eyes.
“No, I’m not a bitch, you’re the one who-“
“Annie! Shut up!” Gabi said.
“Ohhhh, scared someone will hear?” Annie raised her voice. “Can I have everyone’s atten-“
“ANNIE!” Gabi squealed.
With a gleeful grin, Annie replied. “Fine, I’ll keep quiet as long as you keep you’re little claws out of my man.” She rested a hand on her stomach. “Antonio, Jr., and I will be a lot better for him a lot more than you ever could. What he ever saw in a cheap piece of trash like you is beyond me anyway.”
“Get out of here,” Annie finished, “I don’t even want to look at you.”
Gabi glared through her tears, and
turned around with as much dignity as she could muster. Once safely around
the corner, she burst into sobs. Now she would never the second chance
at happiness she had dreamed of for so long…she would never have Antonio.
Antonio sat with his head in his hands, staring dejectedly at the ground. Why was this happening to him? Why…when he had finally made up his mind…why had this come along and screwed all of his plans up? Annie was pregnant with his baby. He would have to go back to her, there was no question about that, and now Gabi would never know how much he really loved her…
“Annie?” Antonio pushed in the half open door to his house and walked inside. She was there, as he had known she would be, waiting. “Annie.” He stated again.
“We need to talk... I figured we should just get it over with.” Annie forced a tight smile and stood, turning off the television. Antonio walked over to her.
“You’re...you’re right. We do need to talk.” He said, pursing his lips. “When did you find out, Annie?”
“Just a few days ago.” Annie said. “I would have told you before, but I wanted to let you make your decision without this influencing you.”
“Why?” Antonio said, still calm. At that moment, Annie began to get worried. She had expected Antonio to be angry, irritated, but this calmness was just bad. He so rarely got mad, but she had expected this would really set him off. She couldn’t help but think that maybe this was just going to build up inside of him and explode.
“Why...what do you mean, ‘why’?” Annie asked, taking a timid step back.
“I mean why didn’t you come to me. And don’t give me that excuse about wanting me to make up my mind. It’s crap and you know it. Of course this influences me, what were you going to do, Annie? Just not tell me if I chose Gabi?” He said in such a cold voice that it made Annie flinch.
“No...” Annie said weakly. “I was going to tell you...I just...”
“Just what, Annie?” He scowled fiercely. Annie began to speak up, to defend herself. “Did you think I would just smile and be happy and accept this? Did you think things would just fall right back into place now?” He was shouting now, his temper past the boiling point.
“No! I just thought you would want to be with the mother of your child!” Annie shouted back, her own fiery anger no longer subsiding into the background.
“Well, you thought wrong!” He slammed his fist down on the table, knocking off one of the glass figurines resting there. “Having my child won’t make me love you more than I love Gabi!”
Annie stepped back, visibly shaken. Her chin trembled as tears rolled down her face. Antonio immediately regretted saying what had just slipped from his mouth. He closed the distance between them in two steps, taking her into his arms. She fell willingly into his embrace as she sobbed. “I’m sorry...” She gasped. “I didn’t mean...I don’t...please don’t leave...” She clung to him as he held her tightly. “I just wanted you...to...to love me...”
“Oh Annie...” He sighed into her hair. “I do love you. I’m sorry...for what all I said, I know you didn’t mean this. Don’t worry, baby. I do love you.”
His heart was heavy as he held
Annie. He knew that his choice had been made for him...he just hoped he
could learn to live with it.
Two days later, Annie was still with him. She had fallen into the expected role, and already began making arrangements to move in with him. Antonio hadn’t objected when she brought it up, so she had taken it for granted that he wasn’t going to.
It was around lunch time, and Antonio had fixed a meal and laid it out before Annie. “How far along are you?” He asked softly. Annie glanced up. They hadn’t even mentioned the baby (or Gabi) since their argument had ended.
“Two and a half months.” She admitted, then waited reproachfully for his response. He simply nodded and set the plate down in front of her.
“You need to eat.” He ordered. “And there’s something I have to do.”
“You’re going to go see her.” Annie knew it was true from the look in his eyes. He sighed and nodded.
“I have to, Annie. I owe it to her, I have to talk to her. One last time. I promise, nothing will happen. She just needs to know that this...it’s final now. That it’s over. Don’t worry, I won’t lead her on.”
“What about yourself.” Annie shot out as he reached the door. He turned back to look at her quizzically.
“Make sure you don’t lead yourself on, too.”
Antonio left without answering her.
“Hello?” Gabi answered the phone as it rang, jarring her out of her self indulgent slump. She hoped that it was Antonio, but of course she knew that it wouldn’t be.
“Just a word of warning, NAME, don’t get any ideas when Antonio comes to see you.” Annie snarled.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Gabi moaned. She really wasn’t in the mood to put up with Annie Douglas.
“I’m talking about my man, and your little wandering eyes. Keep. Your. Hands. Off. My. Man.” Annie said, pausing for added effect between each of the words. “And if you don’t, well…Antonio will just get an earful about your little secret…I’m sure you wouldn’t want that to happen, right?”
“Can’t you just shut up, Annie? I gave you my word, isn’t that enough?”
Annie laughed, a haughty disbelieving sound. It echoed in Gabi’s mind as she flinched, gripping the phone so tightly that her knuckles turned white. “Oh yeah, like I’m really gonna take your word for anything. Mmmhmm… sure. I believe you.”
“Annie-“ She was about to lost her temper when a knock on the door interrupted her. “I have to go, someone’s at the door.”
“Yeah – my man. And don’t you forget it, either, tramp.” Click.
Gabi hung up, seething. She breathed deeply to calm herself, then answered the door. Antonio was standing there.
For a moment they stared at each other, neither speaking, neither moving. Then Antonio crushed her to him in a tight embrace. Gabi’s arms wound themselves around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder.
Antonio couldn’t find words to describe how good it felt to hold Gabi. The past two days had been miserable, mainly because he knew how miserable she must be feeling. “Oh Gabi…” He moaned, breathing in her sweet, familiar scent. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” He felt like crying when he saw the heartbroken expression on her face as he pulled away.
“Don’t apologize, Antonio. You can’t help it that this has happened. No one could have predicted that Annie would get pregnant. It’s just fate’s way of telling us that we weren’t really mean to be together. I mean…” Her voice broke as she forced back tears. “First Sunset Beach, then here…I’m surprised we didn’t realize it already.”
“Gabi…” Antonio began to object, but there was nothing he could say without breaking his promise to Annie – a promise that he had every intent on keeping.
“It’s okay, really.” Gabi smiled, a bright ray of light in a tumultuous storm of emotion.
“No…it’s not. I wish things were different, Gabi. I wish…” He leaned in close to her, every WORD thought slipping out of his mind as he cupped her face in his hands. Gabi sighed and leaned into his touch, his fingers rubbing over her silky skin delicately. Gabi’s breath was shallow and she felt almost light headed as he leaned in, at the very last moment licking his lips then pressing them against hers. All of the promises he had made to himself – and the one to Annie – flew out of his mind as he kissed Gabi with all of the passion he had kept inside over the past days, the past weeks, the past years even. He realized something, had realized while he was making his decision. He had never really gotten over Gabi. She had always been there, in the back of his heart, he had just become very good at pushing her away. He did love Annie, he wasn’t going to deny that any more than he would deny what he felt for Gabi, but Annie had never gotten into him like Gabi had. She hadn’t become a part of him, of his heart and his soul. Gabi was his soulmate in every sense of the word… something Annie could never be. That was why he had made up his mind three days ago that Gabi was the only woman for him. But, being the honorable man that he was, Antonio knew that there was no way he could leave Annie and his child. Even what he felt for Gabi couldn’t prompt him to do something like that.
But as he kissed Gabi, he didn’t bother to disguise the raw emotion he felt. She fell into his arms again, kissing him back as whole heartedly and as fully as he was kissing her.
“Stop-“ Gabi pushed him away, reluctantly. She desperately wanted him to continue, but she knew that if Annie ever found out that anything happened between them – and she certainly would, from Antonio himself most likely – then Antonio would hear about her secret… the awful, unforgivable thing Gabi had done years ago. Confusion and worry and anxiety had prompted her into a decision she would regret for the rest of her life.
“I’m sorry…” Antonio said, pitifully. He dropped down onto the couch and sank his head into his hands. “Oh God, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to do that, really…”
“I know you didn’t, Antonio.” Gabi took a seat next to him and put her hand on his arm, feeling the muscles tense underneath his shirt. She leaned close, resting her head on his shoulder. He sighed, knowing that she understood.
“I just can’t…my decision has been made, I can’t…I won’t, go back on this. Every calling I’ve ever had in life, I’ve failed…I can’t fail this though. I have to be a father to this child, I have to be there for it.”
“And for her.” Her voice was so heartbroken, it made his heart ache.
“And for her.” He nodded sadly. “I can’t break this vow, I can’t fail at this.”
“Like the priesthood.” Gabi assumed that was what he was talking about, assumed incorrectly.
“Like the priesthood, too, but I meant you Gabi. I failed you, I was given an opportunity and I let it go. I can’t give up this one though.”
“You’ll be a wonderful father, Antonio.” Gabi squeezed his hand. “That child is going to be very blessed. And I’m sure…I’m sure Annie…” Gabi grimaced, but continued. “I’m sure Annie will make a good mother.”
“You will too, Gabi, someday.” He looked down at her. “You’ll meet someone, I know you will. You’ll have children and you’ll raise a family.”
“I may meet someone…but they’ll never be you.” Gabi tried to force back tears. She had cried too much already in the past few days. “No one could ever be you, Antonio.”
“Hey… don’t start crying on me.” He reached up to wipe a way a lonely tear that had escaped as Gabi threw herself into his embrace again. He would leave soon, he would have to, and she wanted him to hold her one last time.
For a few minutes, they sat there together wrapped up tightly in each others arms, then he stood. Gabi clung to him, unwilling to let go until he gently but firmly took her shoulders. Their lips met briefly as he kissed her goodbye.
He placed a finger under chin and forced her to look up at him. He smiled and spoke. “I love you, Gabi.” Then he pulled her to him one last time and placed his lips next to her ear, protecting their privacy from non-existent eavesdroppers. “It was going to be you, Gabi…I would have chosen you…”
And then he was gone. Gabi stood
there, unable to run after him, unable to close the door and cut short
the pain, unable to do anything other than watch him leave her life.
As much as he dreaded doing it, Antonio
stopped by the jewelry store on the way home. He wanted his child to have
his last name, and to be legitimate and there was only one way to do that.
He would have to ask Annie to marry him.
“When can you get those papers to me?” Annie said harshly into the phone. A high pitched, nasal voice answered.
“Hold your horses, Annie. I’ll get them when I get them. Stuff like this isn’t easy to dig up, you know. There are thousands of files that I have to go through and I can’t waste my time looking for something for you.”
“But…” Annie’s voice changed dramatically, turning sugary. “I just…I really need this…you would be doing me such a big favor, I would really owe you…” She paused, and when she started talking again her voice was low and seductive. “You know…I’m coming back to Sunset Beach for a visit soon…maybe we could…I don’t know, get together or something?”
“Um...well…Annie…” The voice was still cautious. “Maybe.”
“Okay…” Annie feigned disappointment. “I’ll be looking forward to it…I should let you go, I guess.” Fake reluctance. “You probably have a lot of stuff more important to do than talk to me…so…I’ll see you soon, maybe?”
“Maybe.” The person on the other end of the line offered. “I’ll try and find some time to find those files you wanted. I can’t promise you anything though.”
“Oh, its okay. You’ve already done so much for me…I don’t want to take advantage of your position.”
“You’re not…” Pause. “But you’re right, I do have work to do.” Click. Annie tossed the phone down onto the bed and made a sour face. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror. Then she looked away. She couldn’t believe that she was doing this. When she had left town to come here. she had vowed she would never become that manipulating, lying, scheming person she had been. And here she was, four years later, reverting back into that person that she so hated.
“I don’t have any choice.” She argued with herself, a habit that was supposed to be dead, along with her ‘alter ego’. “She’s making me. If she weren’t trying to steal Antonio away from me, then I wouldn’t have to be doing this.”
“Really!” She snapped back at her conscience, visualizing the disbelief that part of her was feeling. “And I’m not enjoying it. Not at all. I hate having to do this, but she’ s making me.”
She sunk back into the bed, crossing her arms in front of her. She really did feel bad about deceiving people like this… it was wrong. She felt disgusted with herself.
“Oh who cares how my conscience feels. At least I have Antonio.” She smiled and rubbed her stomach. “Isn’t that right, baby? We have our Antonio…so everything will be all right. He will never go off with that little hussy again. Not as long as I’m around…and not as long as my dear friend comes through with the proof I need to nail Gabi once and for all. Antonio won’t even think of leaving me when he finds out what she’s done. And he’ll be so grateful for our baby…”
A contented smile paused on her lips
as she imagined Antonio and the baby. She (Annie was certain she was having
a baby girl) would be a perfect mixture of her mother and father, with
dark hair and crystalline blue eyes. Or maybe she would have auburn hair
and dark, dreamy eyes. Either way she would be perfect. “And Antonio will
be the perfect father…” Annie stretched out on the bed and lay her head
down on a feathery pillow, imagining the three of them as a family. The
past few days had been really draining on her. After a only a few minutes,
she was fast asleep…
Antonio arrived home half an hour later to find Annie curled up and sleeping peacefully in his bed. He smiled and ran his fingers through her soft, silky hair. She looked so innocent and vulnerable when she was asleep. So beautiful… he felt a sentimental tugging at his heart. He did love Annie. She was a very special person, very special to him also. But he still felt like he was somehow being trapped into marrying her. It wasn’t right to blame her, Antonio knew that, and he didn’t really. He had certainly played a big enough part in the conceiving of this child that would bond him to Annie.
He spent a moment contemplating the last though. He would be bonded to Annie… such a permanent bond. A life, a little person that they had created and that they would bring into this world. It was a mind-boggling concept. He was going to be a father. It really hit him for the first time. He and Annie were going to be parents. They would have a child… a baby. A genuine smile, one of pure delight seemed to sneak up on him. He loved Annie. They were going to have a baby. They would be husband and wife… they would have a new life together.
A new life that Gabi wouldn’t be
a part of.