I walked into the ICU room and saw Ricardo laying on the hospital bed, eyes open. My heart burst at the moment I realized that I truly loved only him. I should have seen it sooner, I thought as I watched another I.V. tube being changed from his arm. His face was pale except for the rose color on his cheeks. His eyes seemed to defy the fact that he was dying.
They were as bright as ever and browner than chocolate. I began to cry again as I approached his once again traumatized body. It was the only sound in the room after the nurse left again. We had all been through so much. Ricardo had gone through great lengths to hurt Antonio and me the way we had hurt him. His thirst for revenge was greater than anything he had ever known, gobbling every sense of good reason he had ever possessed. He's ruined Antonio's career and hurt us both to extremes. Yet seeing him in such pain, once again, only propels me to once and for all realize what I have…..what I had…..with him. My tears fall deeper as I think back to what we have done to him. I know he regrets his actions as I regretted mine…but now it's too late. Will he survive yet another blow to his already severely beaten body and soul. I beg that he does…..I love him so much.
I turned to him and my heart stopped. His head was falling slowly to his chest and his eyes began to droop. No! I almost cried. Don't die yet. I haven't had a chance to say just how much I love you.
I thought it was in my head, but I could
have sworn that he said,
"I know and I love you too."
I frantically looked around the room, angry that someone could play such cruel joke at a time like this. Ricardo didn't love me. I had lost his love. I lost it the moment I betrayed him. My eyes finally rested on Ricardo's face.
I looked closer and I saw that he was trying to hide a smile.
"Ricardo?" I whispered. "Oh, please Ricardo, hear me." Then I began thinking to myself, not one word coming from my lips. As I was half way through, I heard Ricardo's voice join in and finish off the prayer I was reciting in my head. What was going on? Before I could ask any questions, Ricardo's brown eyes opened wide and there were tears in them. He started to speak and I knew something was happening.
I could feel it in my heart. I started
to feel the pressure in my heart. The thumping so loud it was ready to
break through. Somehow, I knew what he was going to say….and the words
were a mixture of joy and sadness.
"Gabi, from the day we met, I have been able to hear your thoughts. I was surprised at first, then I realized that it was meant to be. We were made to help each other.
I knew when you were sad and I loved to
hear you when you were concentrating on something I said. Like you are
now. I can hear you asking yourself how this is possible. ….that you can
hear me in your mind."
Then he spoke outloud. "I'm sorry for what
I did to you. I was so angry, but I had no right. Do you forgive me? Can
you forgive me Gabi?" His eyes were pleading with tears as he fought to
hold on.
I never left his gaze and held his hand
to my cheek. "I forgive you as I know you have forgiven me. This isn't
the time to think about the past….Ricardo, concentrate on the now…..the
now that holds only you and me. Baby, concentrate on that." I smiled through
the tears I hadn't realized were falling.
We talked and laughed and remembered all
the old times, before we destroyed what we had. We reminisced through the
night and into the early morning, until I eventually drifted off beside
him, his heartbeat comforting me and lulling me to sleep. I dreamed of
when we met, how we flirted, how we fell in love, how me made love, how
we loved one another. I dreamt the entire time, Ricardo present in every
scene in my mind….I could feel my heart overflowing.
As I awoke, my heart broke. I opened my eyes and looked at his dove-white face and started to cry.
My best friend, my soul mate and the love
of my life had died in the night. I wrapped my arms around him as it finally
hit me. My life with Ricardo on earth was now over. His pain, his hurt,
his anger, his rage, all vanished the moment his soul left his body. I
raised my tear weakened face to his and gently planted a kiss on his lips,
they were still warm. A smile was still on his angelic face….he had died
happy. He taught me so much that day. Taught me that you could forgive
everything and move on. He taught me what love was. I thought I had learned
of it before, but I had not really known love until that day…..we learned
to love again during our final night together. I know he will always hear
me wherever he might be now. He was safe. And I know, everytime I pray
or think hard, I know he can hear me in that big blue sky. So I thought
again, speaking to him in my mind.
"Thank you Ricardo…..thank you for everything." And I knew he heard me.
The End...
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