Chapter One

Ricardo stared back at the TV screen, completely lost in the segment broadcasting on the television screen.  His eyes are bulging with horror as he dropped to his knees.  His face nearly touched the screen as he stared at the two people who are making love before his eyes.  His face is racked in pain and his mind wanders and wanders to several moments again when he had found Gabi and Antonio together.  He can no longer bare the thoughts he plays in his mind.  He slowly gets to his feet and steps back, as the picture on the television screen continues to play.  His breathing is fast and furious, his arms to his sides, both hands in tight fists, ready to swing at anything that comes his way.  He can no longer take watching the video on the screen.  With fury and rage he lunges toward the television and VCR and violently stops the playing of the video.  All of a sudden, his head begins to throb in pain.  The same pain he has been feeling for the past few weeks, but only this time the pain is uncontrollably worse.  Ricardo grabs his head with both hands and grimaces as his temples begin to pulsate with fury.  He drops to his knees once again and with his hands still clutching his head he buckles over, sobbing in a way he has never sobbed before.  He remains in a state of terrible pain until finally the headache subsides to a dull throb.  He unravels himself from his own grasp and slumps up against a chair, completely weakened by the episode of events he has just experienced.  He begins to stare blankly at the screen where the videotape was playing a few minutes before.  His eyes are completely welled in tears as his mouth forms a straight tight line.  All the pain he is feeling, slowly converts to an anger that consumes him body and soul.  Ricardo slowly gets up and wobbles as if drunk with alcohol across the hope chest his mother has.  There he notices a picture standing……a picture of Antonio and him, arms around each other, smiling into the camera, absolutely content with the world.  Ricardo stares at the picture hard until his eyes nearly bulge out from the anger that is slowly simmering inside of him.  His hands are gripping the frame so tightly that his knuckles begin to turn white and his whole body begins to shake.  His anger reaches a boiling point.  He raises the picture above his head with both hands and with a grimace on his ever emotionally drained face, Ricardo smashes the picture on the chest.  Glass shatters everywhere and flies all around the room.  Pieces of glass find their way to Ricardo’s face as two thin lines of blood appear on his left cheek.  The stinging is felt by him, but Ricardo ignores it as he brushes away the remaining glass from the frame and removes the picture.  He stares at it with utmost hate as he eyes his brother in his priestly garb. “You good for nothing, lowlife!” His voice begins to quiver as his lower lip trembles. “You’ll pay for this.”  Ricardo angrily rips the picture into pieces and drops it into the wastebasket.  He picks up the frame and dumps it savagely.  As he prepares to leave, he remembers the tape in the machine.  He walks over, still stumbling from weakness, and reaches the VCR.  He pops it out and stares blankly at the tape.  He brings his hand up and tears the film inside, out of the tape casing.  He then turns and again and begins to walk out, dropping the tape in the same wastebasket where he had found it, angrily.  He stares down one last time with a look of pure hate and then walks out of Carmen’s shop, unable to focus clearly or walk without stumbling over everything that crosses his path……
 
 
 

Gabi and Antonio can’t believe what Carmen is proposing.  They both find it hard to swallow, even though they want nothing more than to believe her.  Antonio approaches his mother, with weary eyes.
 
 
 

“Mama……this is no joke.  I’m tired of you saying you are going to drop the issue to then have you still be on your vendetta against Gabi.” Antonio turns to Gabi with concern on his face.  He sees her standing, slightly looking frightened, with her arms wrapped across her body.  His gaze returns to his mother once again, still showing skepticism in his voice. “I mean it Mama……no more games.  Are you really willing to drop this whole issue?”  Antonio’s voice was stern as he looked directly into his mother’s eyes, with eyes of pure seriousness.
 
 
 

Carmen looked back at her son, just as serious as he.  She then gazed over at Gabi, who looked frightened by what she was about to do.  Carmen looked her over from top to bottom as if showing her disapproval of her all over again.  She caught Gabi’s gaze and the two silently stared each other down.  How she despised that girl, Carmen thought.  But there was nothing Carmen could do.  She had done everything possible to bring obstacles between Ricardo and Gabi and it had failed.  Maria had finally managed to convince her to keep quiet.  It was in the best interest of her family.  The wretched woman would get what she wanted, but Carmen would never trust her.  She would constantly keep tabs on her, forever if she had to.  This woman would make her Ricardo happy if it was the last thing she ever did.  Carmen’s evil gaze continued to fall on Gabi.  Carmen knew Gabi could hear Carmen’s unspoken thoughts.  Knowing this, Carmen smiled devilishly at Gabi.  Carmen’s eyes once again diverted to Antonio, where they softened immensely.  “ I swear on my beloved deceased husband and children that I will never break the promise I am now making……I will not ever try to come between what makes Ricardo happy.  I give you my word.” Carmen did not blink as she spoke directly at Antonio.  She meant every word she said, even it was allowing the whore she despised into her family.
 
 
 

Antonio backed off a little and the gaze on his mother softened.  He knew she meant what she said.  He felt they would no longer have any problems from his own mother.  He smiled softly and leaned in to kiss his mother on the cheek.  He could feel his mother’s hand on his neck, as she gently caressed his head.  He parted from her and grabbed her by her shoulders. “This is the right thing to do Mama…….I’m glad you have finally decided to trust me.”  Antonio’s voice slowly cracked. “Thank you Mama.”  He really loved his mother dearly.  He had just hated the person she had become in the last few months. It has not been the woman he had known as his mother.
 
 
 

Gabi stood back the entire time, without saying a word.  She simply stared on and watched the emotional scene between Antonio and Carmen.  She wanted to believe that Carmen would no longer be a threat to her relationship with Ricardo.  Gabi desperately wanted to live her life with Ricardo and to no longer have to worry about Carmen’s threats, would a be major load off of her and Antonio.  She continued to observe Carmen’s body language and like Antonio, Gabi also sensed a finality to the situation where Carmen was concerned.  Very carefully with as much concealment as possible, Gabi let out a sigh of relief.  Now she could concentrate on Ricardo and Ricardo only.
 
 
 

“Adious mijo……I will talk with you later.” Carmen emphasized the YOU when referring to Antonio.  She wanted to no mistaking to be made in her opinions on Gabi.  They had not changed and would never change.  Carmen looked adoringly at her son and touched his cheek gently with her hand, smiling softly at him.  Without even looking at Gabi, she turned to walk out of the office, gently closing the door behind her.
 
 
 

Antonio closed his eyes and breathed a loud sigh of relief.  It was over.  He and Gabi had managed to cover every one of their tracks.  He turned to face Gabi and caught her looking at him.  She looked absolutely radiant to him.  She smiled at him a little sadly.  He approached her and leaned in to hug her.  Antonio felt the smallness of her back as his arms wrapped around her.  His eyes clothes as the overwhelming feeling of want always rushed over him whenever he was near her.  He would have to learn to contain it if he was to ever to handle his brother with the woman he loved.  They held each other, without speaking any words.  Their problems with Carmen were now over.  Little did they know that their problems would now come titled in Ricardo’s name……
 
 
 

Ricardo’s head was pounding.  He was consumed in sweat and he could barely see anything clearly because of the throbbing pain that was pounding in his head.  He had managed to make it to the mission.  His mind was only on one thing…..he wanted to see Antonio and Gabi.  Nothing mattered to him more than confronting the two people who had betrayed him beyond belief.  His anger was swelling so largely inside of him that he could feel the heat scorching his skin.  He reached the entrance to the mission, tripping over the rug in front of the entrance to the church.  He caught himself on the side of the wall just before he fell.  His breathing was even more irregular.  The beads of sweat were dropping off of his face like droplets from an icicle.  He began to walk again, in the direction of Antonio’s office.  His eyes kept wanting to close on him.  He was feeling ill and he felt like he would pass out at any moment, but he continued to trudge on. As he reached the door to Antonio’s office, his strength now almost gone, he paused for a moment.  He had to regain his composure.  He felt so weak and he became angry at himself because of the weakness he was feeling.  Something was not right with him, but nothing was going to detour from confronting Gabi and Antonio.  They are going to bear my wrath, thought Ricardo.  His eyes bulged as he put every bit of strength he had into his arms.  He pushed open the door with such force that he startled himself.
 
 
 

Antonio and Gabi quickly jumped backwards at hearing and seeing the door pushed open so forcefully.  There stood Ricardo, looking at both of them.  They were stunned at his appearance.  He was completely pale and had sweat over his entire face.  He was staring at them as if trying desperately to focus.  His breathing was harsh and raspy.  He looked like he was ready to pass out in front of them.
 
 
 

At seeing them embracing, Ricardo lost all resolve.  They had jumped back quickly from each other as if they had been caught doing something wrong.  Ricardo couldn’t take it.  They both looked extremely concerned by their expressions on him.  His mind once again wandered.  He began to hear voices, which seemed far away and kept echoing in his mind.  He could feel his legs giving from under him and the entire room began to spin uncontrollably.  Then he felt a sharp pain to his head.  His gaze fell upon the ceiling as he continued to struggle to keep his eyes open.  He had collapsed.  In slow motion, he saw Gabi and Antonio leaning over him, terrified by his collapsing.  Their movements seemed to be in slow motion.  He saw their faces, fuzzy from his being able to focus clearly before everything went black……..
 
 

Chapter Two

Ricardo’s eyes open as he tries to focus on his whereabouts.  His head feels like it is about ready to split in two.  With every movement of his eyes, he receives a sharp pain across his temples.  He winces in pain as he attempts to move his head.  As he slowly begins to focus his eyes, he notices two people standing above him.  One, is a person he has never seen before.  He seems to be wearing a uniform of some sort.  The other is a recognizable figure…..he finds Gabi looming over him.  She is staring directly at him, frantically trying to get his attention.  As his gaze falls upon her eyes, she gives him a smile of relief.  Ricardo realizes he is in an ambulance and that the other person next to him is a paramedic.  He too is glancing his way, looking to determine what frame of mind Ricardo is in.
 
 
 

“Can you hear me?  Do you know where you are?” The paramedic speaks loudly, not knowing to what capacity Ricardo will be able to hear him.
 
 
 

Ricardo focuses on him and is now more alert.  He is still feeling groggy but the headache is now slowly subsiding again and his state of confusion is ebbing away with it.  His mind clears and he looks directly at the paramedic, completely avoiding Gabi’s gaze. “I’m-----I’m ok.”  Ricardo struggles to speak because of the exhaustion he is feeling. “I passed out, didn’t I?” He finishes meekly.  He feels a hand touch his forehead.  The hand slowly comes down to his cheek and begins to caress him gently.  Ricardo never takes his gaze off the paramedic, but he knows Gabi is trying to grab his attention.
 
 
 

“Yes you did.  You seem to be coming around and it looks like you are becoming more alert…...” The paramedic smiles at him reassuringly. “How are you feeling right now?”
 
 
 

Ricardo was on full alert now.  He still felt like he had had a ton of bricks dropped over his head but his headache was suddenly disappearing and he could feel himself slowly beginning to get his vision back.  He continued to avoid Gabi’s gaze.  She was sitting by him quietly, sniffling.  She seemed to have been crying.  “ I feel better…just a little tired.”  Ricardo began to remember what had transpired prior to his collapsing and the turned his head a little to regroup himself.  Gabi’s hand was still on his face, soothing.  He very slyly jerked his head to the side to remove her hand from his face.  Ricardo was beginning to physically feel better, but the pain and anguish of remembering what he had discovered was slowly returning.  He could only think of one thing to avoid having to talk any longer and more importantly, how to keep himself from having to look into Gabi’s eyes. “My eyes are fighting to stay open…..I need to rest them and sleep, if that’s ok.”  He was only half lying.  As much as he didn’t want a confrontation right then he was also still very weak from exhaustion.
 
 
 

The paramedic looked him over a little more and checked his vitals again before allowing Ricardo to try to sleep.  His smile reappeared and he patted Ricardo on the shoulder. “Ok….you are alert and your vitals are coming out fine…….if you can, try and sleep a little.”
 
 
 

Gabi had been sitting next to Ricardo the entire time during the ambulance ride.  She had not said a word to him since the paramedic had told her before Ricardo had come to, that he might not be very coherent.  So she simply caressed him to let him know that she was there.  Gabi was desperate inside.  She didn’t understand what was going on and didn’t have a clue as to why Ricardo could have collapsed like he did.  When he was still out, the paramedic asked her if she had been showing any signs out of the norm.  The only thing Gabi could think of were the headaches he had been recently having.  She had mentioned it to the medic, not really thinking it would have much importance.  But the paramedic had thought pensively after she had told him.  Now as she sat there, watching Ricardo in such a state of weakness, her heart overflowed.  She couldn’t lose him now.   Not now after everything she had done to secure her relationship with him.  She couldn’t lose him ever.  She loved him too much.  “I love you Ricardo.” She spoke softly, hoping he would hear her before he drifted off.  But his eyes were closed and Gabi began to tear again, holding his hand, unable to keep her eyes off of him.
 
 
 

Ricardo was indeed trying to sleep, even though now he knew it would be impossible.  He had heard Gabi declare her love for him.  His teeth had clenched upon hearing her words and the anger inside of him welled up again.  He let her hold his hand.  As he pretended to sleep, Ricardo once again began replaying the events of the past few hours in his head….and he began to contemplate what his next move would be…..
 
 
 

Antonio was beginning to sweat profusely.  He had just avoided from hitting another car who was about to turn onto the street he was driving.  His concentration was not on the road but on his brother.  Antonio was sick with worry.  He thought back to incident in the mission.  Ricardo had come into the office, looking like he had weathered a storm.  His face had been pale and his breathing was heavy.  The look in his eyes haunted Antonio now.  His eyes looked like they were on fire.  It was as if he was ready to lunge toward the both of them.  But that had been when he had collapsed.  He and Gabi had rushed to him and he had been out cold.  Gabi had not wanted Antonio to go with her in the ambulance, which had stung him a little.  He not only wanted to be with his brother but he wanted to comfort Gabi.  As much as he was trying to suppress the feelings, he felt as if Gabi had rejected him.  His heart tugged for a moment as he pulled into the parking lot of South Bay General.  He skidded into a spot and his head jerked forward a little due to the speed he used to park into the spot.  Antonio sat looked forward still thinking of his brother.  What could have caused him to collapse? Antonio thought.  He cocked his head back on the headrest and shut his eyes.  He was terribly worried.  He prayed for the safety and good health of Ricardo before finally getting out of his car and running toward the emergency room…..
 
 
 

Ricardo is laying in his hospital bed, now fully awake.  His headache had dwindled to a dull ache which he was able to handle.  Tyus had come in as soon as he had seen Ricardo being wheeled in on the gurney.  While Tyus and the paramedic talked, they had placed him in a room.  He had managed to fall asleep while in the ambulance and once he had awakened and had been temporarily separated from Gabi, he had asked that no one be allowed to see him.  He needed to think.  Now that he felt better and his strength was starting to return, he couldn’t stop from thinking about what Antonio and Gabi had done to him.  The images of the two of them having sex kept playing over and over in his mind.  The images became louder and clearer with every thought and soon Ricardo started to feel pain in his hands.  He looked down and realized that he had been gripping the railings on the bed so tightly, that his knuckles were white and he couldn’t remove his hands for they had become numb.  He winced in pain.  He took deep breaths to relax and then was finally able to extract his hands from the railings.  He became restless with anxiety and he started to shake his head in exasperation, trying to shake the images of his brother and Gabi.  He wanted desperately to escape the pain he was going through.  He couldn’t bare the feeling of betrayal he was feeling.  I need to get out of here, he thought.  He tried to bring the railing down but was not successful in doing so.  His face was full of frustration as he finally managed to jump down from the bed.  He stood up, still feeling a little woozy.  He grabbed the edge of the bed to steady himself and blinked profusely.
 
 
 

“Get back in that bed……NOW!”
 
 
 

It was Tyus.  He had come in just as Ricardo had jumped off.  He looked over at the doctor, weakness showing all over his face.  As much as he wanted to leave, he knew he would not have a good argument to overcome Tyus’s objections.  He debated a moment before slowly climbing back into the smelly dingy hospital bed.  Tyus came over and helped him back in.  Ricardo fell unto his pillow with a thump.  He didn’t understand why he was feeling so tired.  His entire body was fighting him and he didn’t know why.
He looked up at Tyus, hoping he had some answers on his condition. “Tyus…..what the hell is going on with me……why am I feeling this way?  I can barely move without exerting myself into exhaustion……what’s wrong with me?” Ricardo’s voice was soft.  He was disgusted by his weakness.
 
 
 

Tyus looked over at him a little worriedly.  “The paramedic was telling me that Gabi mentioned you having headaches……really bad headaches.  Is that true?”
 
 
 

Ricardo eyed Tyus a little confused.  What did his headaches have to do with him passing out and him feeling so tired?  “Well…..yeah…..I’ve been getting these piercing headaches for a couple of weeks now.”  His gaze remained confused. “Tyus……what’s going on?  Should I be worried?”  Ricardo forgot his problems with Gabi and Antonio for awhile and concentrated on what Tyus was about to say.
 
 
 

Tyus took a deep breath. “I am not 100% sure of this until I perform some tests on you but I’m going to make an assessment based on what you tell me.  Just answer my questions as best as you can and then I’ll tell you what I think for now but don’t hold me to it until we get some tests done.” Ricardo nodded his head and Tyus went on.  “Do your headaches commence quickly and without warning?” Ricardo nodded. “Do they reach a crescendo within 2-15 minutes with feelings of excruciating and intensive, explosive  pain?” Ricardo nodded again, amazed that Tyus was describing exactly what he had been feeling with his headaches.  Tyus was writing everything down and then asked Ricardo to go further in detail. “Now…..I want you to tell me what else you feel when getting these headaches.”
 
 
 

Ricardo sat up, a little more interested now in Tyus’s questions.  He thought hard and started to tell him. “The pain usually starts around my temple and sometimes it extends to my entire face…to the point where I can’t see straight.  They normally last from anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours……it’s almost as if they are clustered.  I get 2-3 severe headaches a day which are unbearable and then I don’t get any for a couple of days.”  Ricardo ended, looking even more intently on Tyus.
 
 
 

Tyus kept his head down, writing on the clipboard as he asked Ricardo one more question. “Does your breathing become heavy and faster?  And have you had bouts of sweat and feelings of dizziness?” Tyus again looked over at Ricardo.
 
 
 

Ricardo thought that he hadn’t really sweated or had irregular breathing until today, and his thoughts once again returned to what had caused his reaction.  He quickly shook his head and looked at Tyus.  Tyus noticed his quick change and frowned.  “I was feeling dizzy before I passed out and I had a huge headache while it happened. And yeah….I was breathing hard.” He kept his glance downward as he finished.
 
 
 

Tyus finished writing and put his pen down. “Okay…….like I said…I can’t make a clear determination until I perform some tests but I think I might know what’s wrong……..Good thing is you didn’t have any type of stoke or heart attack…….your vitals were normal coming in and aside from being tachycardic, you vitals were normal in the ambulance.”  Tyus stopped a moment before continuing. “But I think you might be suffering from cluster headaches.” He stopped again when he saw Ricardo look at him with confusing eyes.
 
 

“What is that?” Ricardo asked, with a rough tone to his voice.
 
 
 

“Cluster headaches generally hit individuals from ages 20-50.  And for the most part men are affected by a ratio of 6 to 1 to women.  They can caused by individuals who have gone through a traumatic experience or shock to the body.  In your case, you were shot and your body has gone through some intense shocks in the last few months.  The headaches come and go, hence being named cluster headaches.  The explode and normally reside around or above the eye, temple, face, neck or ears.  They last anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours.  Some severe symptoms include severe perspiration, red eye, and in some cases fainting.  Also, one of the precipitating factors aside from severe trauma to the body is stress.”  Tyus looked over at Ricardo, now a little more concerned. “Ricardo, have you been under a lot of pressure lately?……I know you have the murder investigation your finishing up…” Tyus didn’t want to pry but he felt something else was affecting Ricardo. “Are you going through something else?”
 
 
 

Ricardo looked away, trying not to give away that he had just experienced the most traumatic experience of his life.  He couldn’t talk about it to a stranger or to anyone for that matter.  But now he understood why he had reacted so badly.  The headaches climaxed and he experienced the severe side of the symptoms after having discovered…..
He couldn’t bring himself to even say “betrayal” in his mind.  He returned his gaze on Tyus and shook his head.” No…no nothing else….this case has really taken its toll on me.” He tried to sound more convincing. “I probably shouldn’t have gone back to work as quickly as I did after I was shot…….I probably could have saved myself a lot of grief.” Ricardo attempted to laugh but like Tyus, he knew he wasn’t telling him th whole truth.
 
 
 

Tyus let it go.  Ricardo wasn’t going to divulge anything. “Ok……well…..like I said….this is all an assumption I’m making….I want you to stick around so we can take some tests…..then we’ll know for sure if you’re really suffering from this.” Tyus voice became stern at this point. “If I catch you trying to leave, I swear Ricardo…..no amount of cops will stop me from keeping your butt in bed….you got that?”  Tyus ended his tirade with a small smile.  He was actually very fond of Ricardo.
 
 
 

Ricardo half smiled. “I’ll stick around…don’t worry…..I want to get a treatment for this whatever I have so I don’t have to go through it anymore…..I won’t move until your done pricking and prodding me.”  He needed to rest still, even though he was feeling better physically.
 
 
 

Tyus patted him on the shoulder before turning to walk out.  He turned back at the door, having forgotten to tell him something. “I almost forgot….Gabi has been frantic in the waiting room, wanting to see you.  I told her I needed to examine you, but you can see her. I’ll go grab----“
 
 
 

“NO!!…..I don’t want her in here!!!”  Ricardo screamed.
 
 
 

Tyus looked at him, shocked at Ricardo’s reaction.  His mood shifted so quickly that it actually frightened Tyus for a moment.  He stood back, staring at Ricardo with confusion in his glance.
 
 
 

Ricardo caught himself right away.  Upon the mention of Gabi’s name, Ricardo couldn’t help but go into a fury.  He did not want to see her, not now.  He calmed himself down before looking up at Tyus again.….this time controlled.  “I’m……just not up for visitors……I’m really tired and sleepy…….I don’t want Gabi to see me this way right now……you understand.” He continued, lying.” Can you just tell her that…..I’m sleeping……I’m gonna try and catch some sleep…tell her I’ll talk to her later.” He breathed out heavily as he finished.  His blood was beginning to boil again and he was trying very hard to contain himself.
 
 
 

Tyus seemed to buy his excuse. “Ok……I’ll let her know…..get some sleep….that’s a good idea for now.” He walked out.  Still stunned at how Ricardo had reacted to mentioning Gabi.  He walked away, a little preoccupied with Ricardo condition.
 
 
 

Ricardo laid his head on the pillow, all of a sudden exhausted again by the happenings of the day.  He couldn’t think anymore.  His mind was cloudy and he really did need to rest.  His eyes shut slowly as his mind drifted from Gabi to Antonio to the betrayal they had set upon him.  He drifted off into a deep sleep as he pondered what he needed to do…..
 
 

(Writer’s Note:  This is just a little side note.  For those who are curious to know of the validity of what I have described on Cluster Headaches, everything I mentioned is true.  I did research on it specifically to incorporate it in the story.  I even interviewed a friend of my parents who is a doctor. )
 
 
 

Antonio burst through the doors of the emergency room and went directly front desk, out of breath from running. “I’m looking for Ricardo Torres…he was just brought in by ambulance.” Antonio turns around, still out of breath, looking to see if Gabi is in the room, waiting.  He doesn’t see her so he again places his attention on the front desk clerk.  She is checking her records on her computer, but to Antonio she is taking her sweet time. “Did you hear me!!  I’m looking for my brother!”  Antonio’s eyes were wide open with frustration.  The woman looked back at him, a little stunned that a priest would yell at her so out of the blue.
 
 
 

Tyus had been walking out to the waiting room, after having spoken with Gabi and heard Antonio raise his voice.  He walked over to Antonio and placed his hand on one of his shoulders to calm him.  Tyus looked at the desk clerk, trying to get her to understand that Antonio was under pressure.  She seemed to understand.  Tyus motioned Antonio to sit before explaining what was going on.  Antonio waited for Tyus to speak, but he was getting impatient with every second that went by.  “Your brother should be ok.  I want you to try and relax a little.” He was eyeing Antonio with reassuring eyes.
 
 
 

Antonio was busting at the seams with adrenaline. “What’s wrong with him Tyus?  Why did he faint like that?  Is he going to be ok?” Antonio was sick with worry.  He couldn’t lose his brother, not now.
 
 
 

Tyus continued to try and soothe his worry. “ I think I know what caused him to pass out, but I won’t know for sure until we finish some tests.  I’ve got them scheduled for the remainder of the day. I believe he’s suffering from cluster headaches, which is in the family of migraines.  He’s resting now.  I just told Gabi that he’s sleeping and that no one is to disturb him for now.”  He could see that Antonio was still impatient to see Ricardo. “I told Gabi to not disturb him for now and I’m telling you the same thing……..You two can see him after we complete the test.” Tyus voice softened. “Listen, I know waiting is not what you want to do right now but you have too.  Gabi didn’t mention that Maria or Carmen know what happened yet…..Maybe you should inform them?”
 
 
 
 

Antonio nodded his head, calmer now.  He hadn’t told Maria or Carmen anything as of yet.  With everything having happened so quickly, he had completely forgotten to inform them.  He nodded his head in agreement and placed his head in his hands.  Tyus patted his back before walking away.  Antonio sat there, thinking again to why his brother had to be the one who always had to suffer.  He was the one that had done everything possible to hurt him.  A wave of guilt ran through Antonio as he ran his hands roughly through his hair.  He got up and started walking towards the phone to call Maria.  As he picked up the phone and began dialing, he wondered where Gabi had gone to…..
 
 
 

Ricardo was sleeping peacefully.  Both of his arms were outside of the blankets.  Gabi sat there, watching him adoringly.  She could not take her eyes off of him.  Tyus had explained Ricardo’s condition to her and how tests were going to be performed.  He would be staying in the hospital overnight after for observation.  He had informed her that Ricardo had fallen asleep and that Tyus had not wanted him disturbed, he needed his rest.  But Gabi could not help herself.  She had snuck into his room and sat down beside him, watching him sleep.  She was too worried and she couldn’t go another minute without seeing him.  Gabi reached over to hold his hand and brought it to her face.  Her eyes closed as she placed his hand to her face.  Gabi felt anguish throughout her body.  Why did this have to happen to him? She thought.  After everything she had done to secure their life together, Ricardo was now battling yet another health problem.  The tears began to flow from her face as she kissed his still hand.  She could not lose him now.  Her love for him was stronger than anything she had ever imagined.  “Please God….don’t take him from me now…..please keep him safe…..I love him so much.”
Gabi’s voice broke as she pleaded.
 
 
 

Ricardo then awoke.  He turned his groggy self to his left and noticed Gabi.  GABI!. His eyes immediately opened wider upon seeing her.  She was holding his hand and crying.   A smile crept on her face as he focused on her.  His stare was blank.  Ricardo instantly fell for her gaze.  His heart welled up with love for her.  This couldn't be the same woman who betrayed me? He thought.  This woman loves me…please God….let this woman love me and only me…..  His mind was racing of images with Gabi and the happier times they had shared together.  He was still sleepy from having just awakened but he needed to talk to her. “Gabi?” He whispered softly.  His mind was on her and only her.
 
 
 

Gabi lost all control and cupped his face in her hands.  He looked at her with eyes of a little boy who had lost his way.  The look of love was so prevalent in his eyes.  To think that she could have lost his love consumed her again.  She smiled through her happy tears and kissed his cheek.  “Baby, you’re going to be ok…..and when you’re better we’re going to be married.  Nothing will stop us again Ricardo…..I promise……I will never leave you again…..not ever.”  Gabi continued to hold his face as her loving gaze never left his eyes.
 
 
 

Then it happened.  Ricardo’s feelings of love quickly vanished as Gabi’s declaration of love and devotion came spilling from her lips.  His mind shifted back to the scene where Antonio was making love to his fiancee.  He stared into Gabi’s eyes as rage rushed over every bone in his body.  Slowly, Gabi disappeared from his sight and he saw the image of Antonio, laughing at him.  Laughing like a joker who had pulled the ultimate prank.  His face clouded over with anger as Ricardo clenched his teeth.  He continued to see Antonio in front of him, laughing hysterically at him.  His hands slowly raised and took hold of his neck.  Ricardo then began to squeeze and tighten his brother’s neck.  He would show him what he could do.  He was going to make him pay for what he did to him…..
 
 
 

Gabi was trying desperately to untangle Ricardo’s hands from her neck.  He was beginning to squeeze tighter.  The look on his face was of a madman and Gabi, for the first time was scared for her life.  MY GOD!!, she thought, HELP ME!!  Gabi continued to try and pry Ricardo’s hands from her throat as she stared into his cold hating eyes……..
 

Chapter Three
 

Antonio was pacing in the waiting room, awaiting more news on Ricardo, when Maria burst through the doors of the hospital.  She looked directly at the desk clerk and began to walk towards her until she noticed Antonio standing beside entrance to the emergency room.  She walked over to him and immediately threw her arms around him.  They hugged deeply before pulling apart.
 
 
 

“Antonio, how is he?  Have you heard anything else from Tyus?” She had worry all over her voice.  She couldn’t believe this was happening to Ricardo.
 
 
 

Antonio looked back her, with the same worried expression on his face.  He held her at arms length. “I haven’t heard anything else besides what I told you on the phone.” He thought of his mother. “Where’s Mama?”
 
 
 
 
 

“I couldn’t get  a hold of her.  She wasn’t home so I left her a message. “ Maria was trying to calm her nerves and sighed. “I expect to come bursting through those doors soon.”
 

 Antonio nodded and his mind shifted back to Ricardo.  It had been a good hour since he had last spoken to Tyus.  His mind wandered to Gabi.  He hadn’t seen her since she took off with Ricardo in the ambulance.  He was beginning to wonder where she could have gone too.  Tyus had indicated that Ricardo couldn’t have any visitors for now so she had to be else where.  He looked back at Maria and wondered if she had spoken to Gabi. “Have you seen or talked to Gabi since I talked to you.” He was starting to worry about her. “I haven’t seen her in a couple of hours and I know she would be here if she could.”
 
 

Maria shook her head.  She was also a little concerned that she wasn’t around. “No……I haven’t talked to her today at all.” Maria could see the Antonio was worried about her.  She placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled softly at him. “I wouldn’t worry Antonio…..I’m sure Gabi is roaming around, probably trying to see Ricardo.  I’m sure she’ll appear soon.”  She was trying to reassure him.
 
 
 

Antonio sighed and was not convinced.  Where was Gabi? He thought.  She would not just disappear and not tell him where she was.  He walked away from Maria and placed his hands on his waist, deep in thought.   Something didn’t feel right to him.  He turned to look at Maria. “I’m going to see Ricardo.” He looked at the preoccupied desk clerk and the doctors and nurses who were coming in and out of the ER, busy with their own agendas.  “You coming?”  He asked.
 
 
 

Maria saw the determined look on Antonio’s face.  They were both worried about Ricardo and they wanted to see him.  Maria, like Antonio, also had a feeling that something was amiss….and that Gabi might possibly be with Ricardo.  She grabbed her brother’s hand and the two began to walk towards Ricardo’s room……
 
 
 
 

Silence hit both Ricardo and Gabi.  They heard nothing except the gasps Gabi was making.  Her mind was racing.  She looked directly into Ricardo’s eyes, pleading for him to let her go.  Her hands were clutching his hands. The same hands which were around her throat, trying to suck the life out of her.  There was nothing she could do.  Her small delicate hands were no match Ricardo’s powerful grip.  She began to slowly weaken as she stared into his cold raging eyes and clenched teeth.  MY GOD!! She thought.  He’s going to kill me.  Gabi removed her hands from his grip and instinctively, she touched his face.  Her mouth was wide open from fear.  “Riiicardoooo!!” She squeaked, with what she had left of her voice.
 
 
 

Ricardo’s mind was in another world.  He saw only one thing….his brother.  His hands gripped tighter as he continued to see his cackling brother.  The rage inside of him grew and grew with every laugh that eminated off of Antonio.  He hated him.  He had never felt such hate in his life.  Their eyes locked throughout and Ricardo felt a madness he had never imagined before.  His hands tightened more.  He was going to drain his brother for all he was worth………..Then he felt hands on his face…..and he heard a soft delicate voice calling out his name.  The voice echoed in his mind over and over again.  Antonio was no longer laughing.  His gaze became fuzzy and Ricardo blinked  and shook his head profusely.  Suddenly Antonio’s face was no longer in front of him.  The image slowly changed into someone else………then his eyes focused clearly and his hands loosened.  His eyes grew wide with astonishment and his mouth dropped as he finally realized who was in front of him.  Gabi.  Gabi was staring at him with eyes of horror and disbelief.
 
 
 

Gabi felt the pressure drop.  She immediately brought her hands to her throat and began gasping for air.  She jumped off the bed and ran to the corner of the room, unable to look at Ricardo.  She was crying as the realization hit her……Ricardo had tried to strangle her.  She slowly turned as she saw Ricardo, staring at her with tears in his eyes.  He looked over like he couldn’t believe what he had just done.  Gabi continued to hold her throat as Ricardo watched her, mortified at his actions.
 
 
 

Ricardo quickly jumped down from his bed.  He could see Gabi was scared to death of what he was going to do.  As soon as he hopped from the bed, she took a startled step back and stared at him frightened.  He raised his arms and his palms faced her, indicating he would not hurt her.  His strength was almost back.  His face was pained as he continued to think of what might have possibly happened. “Gabi…….Oh God!” He raised one hand to his head and shut his eyes tight.  He was tortured inside beyond belief. “Oh Gabi……..I’m so sorry……..I don’t know what got into me…….I---  Oh God!!…..Please…….I didn’t mean to…….I----I---“ He stopped as he couldn’t continue.  He continued to look at her.  It tore him up inside to see how frightened she was of him.  He stepped back even further until he reached the bed and sat down.  He could have killed her.  As much as he was hurting for what she had done to him, he would never have intentionally have tried to harm her.  He dropped his head and began convulsing in tears.
 
 

Gabi watched him break down.  She continued to stand back, now her hands to her side.  She was crying silently, continuing to watch him.  As much as she was frightened by what had just happened, Gabi couldn’t help but want to go to him and place her arms around him.  She was so confused by what he had done.  Why had he tried to strangle her? She thought.  She was hurting so much.  Hurting because the man she loved had just tried to kill her.  But as her gaze followed a weeping Ricardo, Gabi knew there had to be a reason for what he had done.  The headaches.  The headaches Tyus said described had to have something to do with his actions.  There was no other explanation in her mind.  She wanted desperately to believe that was the reason.  Ricardo would never hurt anyone intentionally.  He just didn’t have it in him.  As Gabi resolved to believe her justification for her actions, she slowly moved in his direction.  He was still looking down, sobbing uncontrollably.  She reached him and placed her hands on his arms.  He looked up and he gazed at her, lost.  He instinctively drew her in and wrapped his arms around her.  Gabi hesitated for a moment, unable to hold him back right away.  But as Ricardo held her tight in his arms, his head buried in her neck, she could here a faint sound coming from him.  His lips were not kissing her neck but they were gently brushing up against her neck in the most tender of ways and Gabi lost herself in the sensation Ricardo was making her feel.  There was no doubt in her mind any longer.  Ricardo had not meant to hurt her.  Although she didn’t understand the full extent of his actions, she couldn’t help but now hold him back.  Her body was filled with an overwhelming explosion of warmth as she held Ricardo.  He did love her and she loved him.  She held him tight and kissed the side of his head, just as lost in Ricardo as he was lost in her.  Ricardo continued to cry.  Her hair was caressing his face and he pressed his lips against her neck….the same neck he had had his hands on only moments before.  He grew more desolate as he murmured softly….”Why….why….why..?”  Gabi could not hear him and for now, he didn’t want to deal with the pain he still felt.  He needed her to love him and he would take what she was giving him for now……..
 

Chapter Four
 

Antonio and Maria were looking in every room trying to locate Ricardo.  Finally, Antonio passed a window in which he saw two figures, hugging.  He stopped and brought
His face, close to the glass, his eyes focusing intently on the two figures inside.  Without warning, his heart sank.  His eyes faltered a little as he continued to watch.  Gabi was holding Ricardo.  She was standing in front of Ricardo, caressing the nape of this neck, while Ricardo was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head buried in her hair, holding her tightly.  It was a sight he had seen many times, but today, watching Gabi and his brother, holding each other in such a loving manner, broke his heart.  They looked lost in each other and Antonio felt pain throughout.  Maria reached him and saw the expression of hurt on his face.  She followed his gaze as she looked into the window.  She met the same vision.  She immediately returned her gaze unto Antonio.  He hadn’t even noticed that she Maria was standing beside him.  He was absolutely engrossed by the images of two people who were experiencing love.  Maria placed her hands on his face and turned him to face her.  Antonio snapped out of his daze, startled.  He smiled weakly at his sister.
 
 
 

“They love each other……..that can never be denied.”  He said, masking the pain he was trying desperately to conceal.  His facial expression was not hard to read.  As much as he tried to hide the torture he was feeling, he was sure Maria could read through him.  She always had been able to.  Antonio looked back at them, being hit once again with the realization of what he was observing.  “If you could ever capture a moment of love, it would be now……watching them hold one another.”  He couldn’t take it any longer.  The pain and hurt was unbearable.  He knew he was wrong for feeling such jealousy but he couldn’t help feeling the hurt.  It killed him to have to view them loving each other in such a manner.  “Ummmm……I need to get ready for Gregory’s memorial service…” Antonio was fidgeting and his eyes were unable to focus on Maria.  “I-I have to get ready…..let Ricardo know I’ll see him later on…..he seems in good hands.” Antonio winced at his own comment.  Without another word, Antonio walked right by Maria and kept on walking, a small tear escaping from his eye and falling on his shirt.
 
 
 

Gabi continued to caress Ricardo’s hair as he held her in his arms.  Her eyes were shut as she shivered.  She was still startled at what Ricardo had done to her just moments before.  Her neck still felt the pressure Ricardo’s hands had garnered.  Her neck continued to pulsate from the heat of his hands.  Gabi should have been afraid of him.  But she was not.  Gabi couldn’t help but comfort this man whom she loved with her entire heart and soul.  Ricardo was not a violent man and Gabi could not leave him in his time of need.  She could feel his body begging for her with every touch.  Ricardo was not in his right state of mind and Gabi used this as reason for him having done what he had done.  He needed her and she needed him and that was all mattered.  Gabi finally pulled away from him and brought her face near his.  Ricardo stared deeply into her eyes and she held them for the longest of moments.  The gaze was powerful.  Gabi had never seen Ricardo’s eyes look so intensely at her.  As mesmerized as she was with Ricardo’s stare, she couldn’t help but feel perplexed by at.  He had a sense of longing for her in his look, but at the same time he also looked as if he was disturbed by her.  Gabi cupped his face and leaned in to kiss him.  Her action was involuntary.  Gabi hadn’t even realized that she had leaned in to kiss him until she felt his reaction.  Ricardo pulled away.  Her grip became firmer on his face and Gabi gave him a look of anguish.  She had to find out what was wrong with him.  She needed him to know how much she loved him.  “ Ricardo…….I love you……please baby…….tell me what’s wrong?”  Gabi pleaded for an answer. “Please tell me what I can do to help you?”
 
 
 

Ricardo could only stare into her eyes and say nothing.  The mention of her loving him again brought him out of the fog he had been under.  Gabi had the ability to dissolve all defenses he carefully created.  But the mere mention of her loving him set him off again.  His face grew hot and his rage slowly simmered.  He needed to look away from her or he would not be able despise her as he had wanted to.  How could she love him? He thought.  No!  She was lying to him.  She was once again trying to manipulate him into believing that she was in love with him, wanting him.  Her grip on his face was firm but he managed to raise his hands and place them over hers.  They continued to gaze longingly into each other’s eyes but Ricardo soon found a way to escape her.  An image of her holding Antonio in the same manner she was holding him made his heart race.  He quickly shot up from the bed and removed her hands from his face bruskly.  Gabi only stared at him, wide eyed.  He could no longer look at her.  He walked past her and stared out at the window, leaving Gabi perplexed.  His head began to throb once again and Ricardo grabbed his head.  He didn’t know how he was going to get out of this situation….away from Gabi.  He wanted to confront her but he knew he was not ready to reveal what he knew to her.  He was not all together and he would not be able to do himself justice if he came out with what he knew now.   His eyes began to tear as the pain and anguish of the confusion he was feeling began to sink in all over.
 
 
 

Gabi didn’t know what to think.  She stood there, watching Ricardo, with her back to him and wondered what the hell was wrong with him.  She brought her hands to her mouth as a disturbing thought hit her like a ton of bricks.  She felt a coldness rush through her body as she wondered if Ricardo had somehow found about her affair with Antonio.  She began to shaker her head as her gaze continued to be on him.  No…..No….she kept saying to herself.  This couldn’t be happening now…….not now that she had Ricardo in her life again.  Her mind was racing.  She quickly went to him.  Then the door opened……and Tyus and Maria walked in, breaking the moment she and Ricardo had had.  They both looked at Tyus and Maria, dumbfounded.  They had been in their own little world, both contemplating what had transpired in the hospital room and what was transpiring in their own minds.  Each not knowing what the other was actually thinking.
 
 
 
 

Tyus could sense he had interrupted an intense moment with Ricardo and Gabi, as could Maria.  Tyus cleared his throat and awkwardly stared between Gabi and Ricardo before saying anything. “Ricardo…I….ah….we are ready for you to take those tests……”  Tyus could see that Ricardo was relieved to be escaping whatever he had to deal with. “Are you ready?” Tyus finished, still a little uncomfortable.
 
 
 
 

Ricardo was relieved.  He couldn’t handle having to talk to Gabi about the affair with his brother now.  He wasn’t sure what he would do if he dealt with it now.  He simply kept his eyes on Tyus and his sister and nodded his head, his eyes slightly bugged out.  He was trying desperately to calm his already shaking hands and in the process averting his eyes from Gabi.  He could feel Gabi’s eyes boaring into him and he made sure to not turn his head in her direction.  “I’m ready….I want to get this over with as soon as possible.”  Ricardo swiftly began walking to the door when he felt a hand on his arm.  He felt warm air rush through his body.  He slowly turned his head and saw Gabi, grasping on to him.  She was crying and her eyes searched for his affection and love.  He couldn’t help but soften his glance, but he knew he also knew he had to let her go for now.  “I have to go Gabi.”  Ricardo looked down on the floor.  He needed her to let go of him…..permanently.  He wasn’t sure he would have the strength unless she began the process of letting go.  “Please…..let me go.”
 
 
 

Gabi understood the meaning clearly.  He needed her to read between the lines and Gabi, although not wanting to understand, did comprehend his words.  He wanted her to cut him loose…..forever.  She cried silently, without Tyus and Maria seeing her.  Her hand slowly descended from his hand and their eyes locked with sadness.  Ricardo turned from her.  He walked to Maria and smiled sadly, touching her face as he left with Tyus.
 
 
 

Gabi stood there, clutching her arms across her body, sobbing controllably.  Maria walked over to her, not sure of what was going on.  She simply placed her hands on Gabi’s shoulders and made her look at her, hoping to comfort her. “ Gabi, Ricardo is going to be alright.  He’s taking these tests to help him.  Have faith in him.” It was all she could say.  Maria could sense something big had just happened between her brother and the woman he loved.
 
 
 

Gabi looked at Maria, her lips creased in a thin line, with small, fresh tears flowing down her face.  Gabi had lost and she had lost a love she would never fully regain in her eyes.  As her tears flowed more strongly, Gabi spoke, “He’s not mine anymore……..He knows Maria…….Ricardo knows what I did….”
 
 
 

Chapter Five
 

Gabi slammed the phone on the receiver and grunted.  She placed her head on the phone and closed her eyes as she thought. She was taking a lunch break in the police station commissary, trying to consume some food during her day at work.  She had just tried to call Ricardo and had once again received the same response as all the other times she had tried to call……no answer.  Gabi’s head lifted to the ceiling.  It had been two days since she had seen Ricardo.  The last time she had seen him was when he had left his hospital room to undergo the tests for what Tyus was assuming were clustered headaches.  He had left the room without saying a word to her.  She had never left the hospital but somehow, Ricardo had managed to escape the hospital without her knowing.  He had not been seen by anyone for two days.  Ricardo had not even reported back into work, which was also a source of worry for all who were working there.  Gabi sat down at the table where she had a sandwich with one bite taken out of it and a yogurt.  She placed her elbows on the table and her face in her hands.  The incident where Ricardo had almost strangled her haunted her even more now.  The look on his face was something Gabi could not shake from her memory.  He was angry and full of rage and she knew there could only be one reason for his reaction.  He had to know what had happened between Antonio and her.  Gabi remained desolute as she continued to ponder his reaction.  Then Ricardo took her into his arms and the two of them held each other as if it was the last time they would have each other in their arms.  This had scared Gabi.  The way he held her projected a finality between the two of them and Gabi was afraid of that feeling.  When he had finally let her go and she was about to confront him, they were interrupted.  But Ricardo had given her a hurtful look right before he had left with Tyus.  It was that look that finally convinced Gabi that he knew what happened.  There was no other explanation for his reaction to her and everything else that was happening.  Ricardo had disappeared and he was obviously avoiding everyone, especially her and Antonio.  As much as she feared seeing him now, she knew that she had to talk with him to finally confirm what she so desperately did not want to hear……..Ricardo knew about her sleeping with his brother.
Gabi let a sound of frustration and knocked over the yogurt she had been staring at by accident.  She shook her head in exasperation as she began to clean up the mess she had made.
 
 
 

“Mind if I join you?”
 
 
 

Gabi looked up.  She had been lost in her own thoughts and had not noticed that Oscar Ruiz had approached her table.  Oscar was carrying a tray full of food and had a newspaper under his arm.  He was smiling at her sweetly, not sure whether he should have interrupted her or not.  “Sorry I startled you……I just saw you sitting here and I thought you might not mind a little company.”  Oscar smiled at her again.
 
 
 

Gabi couldn’t help but smile back weakly at him.  She was knee deep in her problems and worry over Ricardo but having someone to talk to was something she needed.  Oscar was always a welcome diversion to her.  “I’m sorry….please….I insist that you sit and join me.”  Gabi once again sighed. “ I could use the company.”
 
 
 

Oscar sat down and nervously kept looking over at Gabi as he unloaded his food on the table.  Gabi was still aimlessly wandering from the thoughts she had been having prior to him sitting down.  He didn’t want to press but he knew something was wrong with her.  “When is Ricardo coming back to work?” Unknowingly, Oscar had stuck his foot in his mouth.
 
 
 

Gabi immediately sprang to attention and eyed Ruiz a little surprised by his question.
Oscar caught her look of surprise and quickly apologized.  “Gabi----Gabi…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to put you on the spot…” Ruiz stammered to finish his words. “I just thought that…” He stopped and put his head down.  He felt like an idiot.
 
 
 

Gabi immediately shook off her look of surprise and placed her hand over his, making him look at her.  She smiled. “ Oscar….it’s ok.  You didn’t say anything wrong.”  Gabi then looked down, sadly. “It’s only natural that you would think that I would know where Ricardo is.  Afterall…” Gabi looked away again. “I am his fiance……I should know what is going in with him.”  She was again overcome with emotion and placed her face in her hands again.
 
 
 

Ruiz didn’t really know what to do.  He had always assumed that Gabi and Ricardo had the perfect relationship and that nothing could go wrong with them.  Her reaction and Ricardo’s flakiness in the last week startled him.  He had no clue what was going on but he knew something was definitely awry.  There was nothing he could really say to comfort her since he didn’t understand what the situation was.  But he would try to console her anyway……Gabi needed a friend for now.  “Gabi…” Oscar began. “I’m not even going to try and pretend what is happening with you or Ricardo right now.  It’s obviously something very serious.  I’m not going to pry because you don’t need that right now.  But if you need anything….please, just know that I can be there for you.  You are my friend and Ricardo is my friend.  Whatever you two are mixed up in can be worked out.  You two have something special……just remember that.”
 
 
 

Gabi was crying as Ruiz had finished.  He was right.  He had no idea what the extent of her problems were.  In fact, she wasn’t quite sure herself.  She had no idea if Ricardo knew in fact of her betrayal.  She had a strong suspicion that he did, but she still wasn’t absolutely sure.  She hadn’t even been able to tell Antonio about her suspicions or was she able to confront Carmen to ask her if she had spilled the beans to Ricardo.  She was frightened to death of what she might reveal.  She couldn’t handle knowing if Ricardo knew about what she had done.  She looked up at Ruiz, tears slowly rolling down her face. “It’s not that simple Oscar…..We’re in a bad situation.”  She continued to look at him.  Not knowing what else to say.
 
 
 

Oscar simply held her hand and looked back.  My God, he thought.  This was not good.  But as he sat there, staring into Gabi’s eyes, he reflected back on conversations he’d had with Ricardo about Gabi and vice versa.  Whatever these two were going through was one tough situation but he knew the extent of their love for each other.  It was obvious to the whole world.  He had to make sure Gabi was reminded of it. “Gabi…..it is simple…..do you love Ricardo?  Just answer me that.”
 
 
 

Gabi was overwhelmed.  Oscar was trying so hard to make her feel better.  But he didn’t understand.  Her love was not enough to withhold what she had done. “Oscar…..like I said…it’s just not that----“ She was interrupted.
 
 
 

Oscar shook his head and cut her off.  He squeezed her hand a little harder and repeated his question. “Gabi…..just answer the question.  I don’t want you to overanalyze anything.  Just answer the question…..do you love him?  Yes or no.  It’s that simple.”  He was trying to reach her.  He only wished he would be successful.
 
 
 

Gabi couldn’t take it any longer.  Her heart overflowed for Ricardo and she was so desperate to share how she was feeling. “Yes….” She whimpered. “Yes I love him with all of my heart and soul.”  She finished with a cracked voice.
 
 
 

Oscar again smiled at her softly. “Ok.  Now, look deep into yourself and ask yourself this.  Does Ricardo love you?” He stopped for a moment, hoping to get across to her as best as he could. “Deep down you know Gabi.  If the answer is yes, then it is simple and nothing else should matter.  The only thing that should matter is the love you two feel for each other.  Everything else can be fixed.  I don’t care what anyone says…..love is powerful enough to fix anything.  So Gabi…..search deep inside of yourself …..does Ricardo love you.” His own words affected him as he felt goose pimples form on his arms.
 
 
 

Gabi was trying to let Oscar’s words sink in.  She knew the answer to his question.  But she was afraid to actually form the thoughts into words.  Everything was changing and Ricardo’s love could vanish at the drop of a hat.  But deep down, she knew that he loved her.  Deep down, she hoped that he always would.  She could feel his love for her and Oscar was right, that was a powerful thing.  She stared at him once again, half smiling at him. “Yes……he does love me.” She said it with conviction.
 
 
 

Oscar continued to smile, this time more broadly.  He tapped her hands. “That’s all that matters Gabi.  Nothing else is that important.” Gabi was listening more intently on his words now. “Whatever is making him waver and doubt that love, can only be stopped by you.  Make him understand that all that matters is the importance of the love you two share.  Make him understand Gabi.”
 
 
 

Gabi wanted believe Oscar.  She looked down on her hands again, tearing. “I think I hurt him too badly Oscar…….I might not be able to convince him.” The fresh tears flowed more freely now.
 
 
 

Oscar lifted her chin to look at his face.” Gabi…..MAKE him understand.  You have the power to do that…..only you have it.  Go find him and make him listen to whatever you have to say.  Only you can take whatever pain he is feeling.  Your love has the power to do that.  Trust in it’s power and it will not fail you…….then you’ll see……you’ll see just how simple it all really is.” Oscar was stunned at himself.  He had never felt so strongly on the issue of love.  But for some reason, Gabi and Ricardo had made him believe just how true love could overcome.
 
 
 

Oscar’s words finally hit home to Gabi.  That had been her problem before.  It was the reason why she had been unable to tell Ricardo of her betrayal from the beginning.  She had not trusted in the power of the love she had for him.  She had been afraid to ever trust the strength it actually held.  If only she had given to it sooner, she might have been able to avoid so much pain….especially for Ricardo.  She knew what she had to do.  She had to believe in the love they had.  She had to believe in Ricardo.  More importantly, she finally had to believe in herself.  Whether Ricardo already knew or not, now was the time to trust her feelings.  She couldn’t run from them any longer. She didn’t want to anymore.
She tried to stop the flow of tears she was creating.  She was grateful to Oscar for having opened her eyes and finally making her realize what the power of love was all about.  She shook her head and wondered.  It was Oscar who was the breaking point. Imagine that, she thought. “You’re right Oscar.” Gabi was patting his hands affectionately, all the while grinning through tears. “Thank you….thank you so much for what you have said.  I just needed to hear it from the outside.”  Gabi got up and went over to Oscar.  She bent down and as he looked at her, she kissed him on the cheek.  Gabi could see him instantly turning red. She only smiled. “I’m not going to stop until I find him…..I have to try and make him believe….like you’ve made me believe.” She smiled more deeply at him as she began to walk away, heading directly towards Ricardo’s loft, once again hoping he would be there.  She would do everything possible to find him.  She didn’t care what it took.  Regardless of the outcome, she had to trust in herself.  It was time she did that much.  She turned and gave Oscar one final smile.  She would be grateful to Oscar forever for what he had said to her.  It had helped in ways he would never fully understand.
 
 
 

As Gabi walked away, Oscar couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment.  He realized how much impact his advice had been on Gabi.  He took a bite of his apple and stared off into space, shaking his head and smiling.  As he crunched down on the apple bits in his mouth, Oscar was proud of what he had done. “I’ll be damned…..I never knew I had that in me….”
 
 
 

Maria and Carmen were in Caremen’s shop, wracking their brains trying to figure out why and where Ricardo had disappeared to.  Like Gabi, they also had not seen or heard of him since he had left the hospital after Tyus had administered the tests.  Maria, Gabi, and Antonio had asked Tyus if Ricardo had said anything about where he was going after he been released, but Tyus had known nothing.  Tyus had indicated to Ricardo that he would need to be driven home.  Ricardo had assured him that someone in his family would be taking care of him.  Then he had left.  And that was the last time anyone had seen him.  Maria started pacing around the room, unable to calm down.  She was so worried about her brother.  He was still not completely well and Maria was also now wondering if something else was making Ricardo act so strangely.  This was not like him.  He hadn’t even contacted Gabi and that in itself was worrisome.  Everyone in her family had been doing everything to locate him.  It had now been two days and Maria was ready to get his colleagues at the police station involved.
 
 
 

“Mama, this isn’t normal…..we need to do something else to find him.  I can’t take not knowing where he’s at.” Maria was looking intently at her mother, with desperation in her voice.
 
 
 

Carmen, surprisingly enough, was calm.  She was just as worried as her children were about Ricardo, but she sensed that Ricardo did not want to be found just yet.  She sensed her son was dealing with issues that he did not want to deal with anyone else.  She was trying to think hard about what it could be that was making him do these things and only one reason kept entering her mind.  She didn’t want to admit it fully but Carmen was almost certain that his strange behavior was due to Gabi and Antonio.  She felt her son’s pain.  It was a pain that she had never experienced through him before.  He felt betrayal and Carmen felt it to the inner depths of her soul.  She could feel something terrible was going to happen and the thought of it sent chills up her spine.  Suddenly, she felt a cold rush of air run through her body.  She startled herself and immediately caught Maria’s attention.  Carmen approached her daughter, bug eyed, and grabbed Maria by the shoulders.  Carmen was obviously frightened.
 
 
 

“Maria….Maria….your brother…..Ricardo…..he knows mija!!  Ricardo knows!  Dios mio!!  Your brother knows…...” Carmen began to become a little hysterical.  “Something is going to happen.”  Carmen’s eyes diverted away from her daughter’s and fixated on the wall.  She was concentrating heavily on her thoughts.  Suddenly, she grabbed her head with both hands and cringed.  What she was feeling was not in any way good.  Carmen was scared to death.  “Maria….Ricardo knows about Antonio and Gobbie!!  I know he does….something terrible is going to happen…..NO!!  NO!!.”  Carmen was now fully engrossed in her bad feelings.  She held on to her Maria tightly as her voice and face continued to show feelings of anxiety.
 
 
 

Maria was scared herself.  Her mother was literally unraveling in front of her eyes.  She seemed so sure of what she was feeling.  Her mother had yet to be wrong on all of her premonitions. She held her mother back, trying to get her to look at her and concentrate on her.  “Mama….Mama!!  What are you talking about?  What is going to happen?  What do you see Mama!!!” Maria was trying to calm her mother down and she was trying to calm herself down as well.  She didn’t understand how Ricardo could have found out.  She hadn’t said anything and from the way her mother was acting, neither had she.  Antonio and Gabi also hadn’t said anything.  How could he know? She thought. “Mama, how could Ricardo know about Gabi and Antonio having slept together?  No one has told him…….His behavior can’t be related to it.”  Maria finally had her mother’s attention.  But Carmen did not respond.  Instead Maria heard from another voice.  A voice from behind her.
 
 
 

“So you knew all along……everyone knew.”
 
 
 

Maria and Carmen turned around and came face to face with a stone faced Ricardo.  He was standing at the doorframe, in a stand off position, looking at both of them with a look of betrayal.  He looked like he was about ready to break down in front of them.  He looked awful.  His hair was unruly and unbrushed.  His shirt was untucked and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.  Maria and Carmen looked at him, afraid with what was about to happen.  It both hit them at the same time.  Ricardo did know and now he knew that they had kept the secret all along.  They were at a loss for words, unable to move.  Maria finally made the break and approached him, a scared look on her face.
 
 
 

“Ricardo….My God!!  Where have you been?  We’ve been worried sick about you.” She tried to grab his hand but he backed away.  Maria was startled by his abrupt rejection.  She was not going to be able to escape his original question.  “Ricardo…please…..you need to sit down…..sit down and we’ll talk—“
 
 
 

“TALK!!  What are we going to talk about Maria!!”  He had interrupted her and was yelling, now working up to anger. He looked back between Maria and Carmen, hurt showing with every glance. “I can’t believe you two knew about what those two did to me!!  And you said nothing!!  You said nothing!!” His eyes were incredulous.  He was trying desperately to control the tears which were forming in his eyes.
 
 
 

Carmen and Maria didn’t know what to say.  Ricardo felt not only betrayed by his brother and Gabi, but by Maria and his mother as well.  They had known all along and no one had bothered to tell him.  The betrayal he felt inside not only had Antonio and Gabi’s name all over it but now he added the names of the two females who had been everything to him.  Carmen quickly approached him but was held back by his arms.
 
 
 

“NO!  Don’t get near me!  How dare you two keep this from me?  What do you take me for?” Ricardo began pacing around the room, grabbing his hair and looking like he was about to explode.  He finally stopped and looked at them both, a look of bewilderment passing over. “Why?  Why didn’t you tell me?  Why did you allow them to make a fool of me?” His eyes were pleading for an answer. “What have I done to you both to make you want to do this?  Why Mama?  Maria?  WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!!”
 
 
 

Maria and Carmen were fully doused in tears by now.  They had both committed a terrible mistake by not telling Ricardo.  He was in so much pain from having discovered that Gabi and Antonio had made love.  His soul was crushed and they knew full well that they had contributed in hurting him.  Maria hated herself for having helped in doing this to him.  She wanted nothing but to erase the pain that her brother was feeling.  She didn’t know how he had finally managed to find out but she wanted to ease his pain.  But deep down, she knew that would not be possible.
 
 
 

“I told them to keep it from you.”
 
 
 

Ricardo, Carmen, and Maria all jumped.  Carmen and Maria looked over at the doorframe and saw him.  Ricardo, closed his eyes before slowly turning around to face the man who had betrayed him.  When he finally did, his face was cold and impassive.  There stood Antonio, in his priestly garb, facing his brother.
 
 
 

The two of them stared each other down.  Antonio looking over at Ricardo meekly while Ricardo eyed Antonio down disgustingly.  Ricardo began to approach him.  Maria instinctively grabbed Ricardo, but he merely pulled his arm from her grasp and continued to walk towards his brother, never blinking his glance away from him.
 
 
 

Carmen could only stand and watch the scene unfolding in her shop. “Ricardo, mijo…por favor…..please listen to your brother….it’s all Gabi’s fault!”
 
 
 

“Mama…..please be quiet!”  Antonio yelled at his mother, also not taking his glance away from Ricardo.
 
 
 

Maria and Carmen stood back, watching.  There was nothing they could really do but watch as the two brothers handled their situation in their own way.  They were terrified at what was to happen.  Their family had come unglued.
 
 
 

Ricardo stared into his brother’s eyes with cold rage.  He could tell that Antonio was not going to back down.  He wanted to talk to him.   But Ricardo did not want to speak to his brother.  As much hatred as he had inside of him, there was not a single sentence that he could formulate to Antonio.  So Ricardo merely came closer to his brother, almost touching noses and glaring even harder. “Your not worth it……go to hell!”
 
 
 

The look on Antonio’s face was of pure pain.  Ricardo pushed him aside roughly, causing Antonio to fall onto the floor.  Ricardo took quick steps towards the door, hearing Maria and Carmen calling after him.  As he reached the door, he could no longer take their voices echoing in his head.  He began to run…..not knowing where he was going to end up.
 
 
 

Antonio quickly got up and began to go after his brother.  Maria quickly grabbed him.  “Antonio….no!  Leave him alone for now!  PLEASE, I’m begging you!  You two are in no condition to confront this now…Please let him go!”  Maria had never been so scared in her life.  She continued to hold onto Antonio tightly, hoping he would listen.
 
 
 

Antonio gently withdrew her hands.  He grabbed her face and looked at her softly, hoping to make her understand for what he was about to do. “Maria…..I have to go after him.  Don’t you understand?  I’m the one who hurt him!  I have to run after him…..if I don’t, I’ll lose him……I have to take this chance.  As scared as I am of confronting him, now is the time.  I have no choice.” He kissed her on the cheek and wiped the small tears running down her face.  He looked over at his mother with the same sad, soft expression and smiled half heartedly. “Please understand…both of you……this needs to be done.  I’m sorry……I’m sorry for everything.” Antonio let go of Maria’s face and looked down.  He then slowly walked out, not leaving their eyes.  He then slowly turned and walked out the door, going after his brother.
 
 
 

Maria and Carmen gravitated towards each other and held one another in each other’s arms.  The two men in their lives were about to confront their demons head on.  No one knew how this would transpire.  They cried softly, each praying to God that they would come out ok.
 
 
 

“Dios mio….protégé mis hijos.” Carmen sobbed feverishly. “Please don’t let any harm come to my sons….”
 
 
 

Chapter Six
 

The door to the loft slammed open and Ricardo rushed in, pacing back and forth, unable to focus on any thing.  His breathing was getting harder and faster and a headache was once again forming.  He brought his hands to his head, finally standing still but on the point of hyperventilating.  He closed his eyes and slowly began to calm himself down, breathing in slow and cautiously.  He stepped back and found the edge of bed and sat down.  He leaned in and placed his face in his hands, thoughts racing through his mind.  After he had finished at the hospital, Ricardo had gone to Big Bear and rented a cabin.  He had not wanted to see anyone.  He needed time to think things through and he knew that he was not going to be able to do it in Sunset Beach.  His entire family had known something was wrong with him and having to explain that he had finally discovered his brother’s betrayal, would have been torturous for him.  He had spent two days in the mountains, climbing the small hills and looking over the beautiful valleys, reflecting on how his life had turned upside down.  He had cried, yelled, and sank into a deep depression until he had finally realized he needed to come back and confront both Antonio and Gabi.  He had been full of rage and hate in the mountains and the feelings were still there and he needed to let them out before he exploded.  He had decided to head to his mother’s to talk to her about the tape, when he had overheard Maria and Carmen talking about Gabi and Antonio having slept together.  Hearing the two of them admit that they had already known, caused a dagger to plunge through Ricardo’s heart.  How could they have done this? He thought as he rocked himself back and forth on the bed.  What had he done to deserve all of this pain and suffering?  His own family had destroyed him.  Seeing them had propelled him into another bout of rage and fury.  Then seeing Antonio had catapulted him into yet another bout anger.  He couldn’t stand to look at his brother.  Ricardo shut his eyes very tight as images of Gabi and Antonio making love began rushing through his head again.  He began to rock back and forth faster and his hands were leaving marks on his forehead from the pressure of it all.  He wanted to make the images stop but he couldn’t.  Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.  He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he jumped up, startled at having been touched and interrupted.  There stood Antonio, looking upon his brother with his mouth slightly wide open.  Ricardo began to shake.  He wanted to despise Antonio, but he was having trouble finding the anger that he had so successfully tapped into before.  He managed to place a cold stare on him. “What do you want?” He asked softly, but with no real emotion.
 
 
 

Antonio looked and quickly swallowed the lump in his throat.  He felt his throat going raw and wasn’t sure he was going to be able to speak as concisely as he had planned to do. “I needed to see you Ricardo……I needed to see how you were doing.” Antonio was trying to remain in composure.  His eyes were transfixed on his brothers. “We need to talk….we need to talk about…….Gabi.” Antonio’s head snapped back lightly as Ricardo’s stare became colder at the mention of Gabi’s name.
 
 
 

“No…..No…..I don’t want to talk about this…..I want to let it go….I thought I could but I—I  can’t.” He turned his back to Antonio, a look of pain all over his face.  He thought he was going to be able to handle the confrontation but now he realized he wasn’t strong enough. “Just leave Antonio…..this won’t be possible today.” His voice was soft, Ricardo was trying not to let his guard down.
 
 
 

But Antonio would not hear him.  He needed to talk to him. He was not going to leave without saying his peace. “I’m not leaving Ricardo.  I have to talk to you and you’re going to hear me out. You don’t have to say a thing but I need to talk to you about this.  It’s time.”  He stopped for a moment to see if Ricardo would react.  But he didn’t.  He remained with his back turned to him, listening. Then Antonio took a deep breath before beginning. “When I met Gabi, we were merely friends.  Our connection to each other was at first through you.  As time went on, we discovered that we had a lot in common and that our friendship was growing.  That’s all it was Ricardo, it was simply friendship at that point.” He stopped again as his nervousness took over.  He wiped the bead of sweat off of his forehead. “Then I started feeling differently.  I can’t even explain to you how it changed.  It just did.  I tried so hard to rid myself of what I was feeling for her.  She had no idea Ricardo.  You have to believe that.  Gabi had no clue that I was falling in love with her.” Antonio stopped again when Ricardo turned and looked at him.  He wasn’t staring as coldly but his face was full of disappointment.  Antonio began to shake more but continued nonetheless. “My feelings began to intensify and I tried everything to suppress. You have no idea how hard I tried.  But then I began to realize that Gabi might feel the same way…..I pushed it Ricardo.  It was my fault.  You can’t blame her…please….I take the responsibility.” Antonio could tell Ricardo was getting angrier.  His face had grown deathly pale and he noticed his hands clenched in fists.  Ricardo remained staring at him, but somehow Antonio was able to go on. “Everything came to a head during the explosion.  We were vulnerable and we only had each other….Ricardo we thought we were gonna die…” Antonio was now beginning to cry.  He grabbed his brother’s collar and looked at him dead in the eyes. “You have to believe that we never meant for it to happen….Ricardo…..we thought we were going to die!!” Antonio was screaming.
 
 
 

Ricardo had had enough.  Like his brother, Ricardo grabbed Antonio’s shirt and stared at him in rage.  They were only inches from each other’s faces and Ricardo exploded. “YOU WHAT!!  You thought you were going to die!!” Ricardo was screaming so loudly that sprays of saliva were shot across Antonio’s face. “You expect me to believe that you bastard!!  Here I was trying to save you and you two were having sex?!!  You expect me to take in that explanation!!  Are you insane?  You lied and lied over and over again, going behind my back, making a fool out of me and all you can say is that you thought you were going to die!!?? Did you even once think about how you would have eternally betrayed me if you had died.  Maybe your secret would have gone to the grave but you still would have betrayed me you son of a bitch!!  How could you do this to me?  How could both of you do this to me!!  You lied!! You lied!!”  Ricardo was breathing very hard and Antonio could only look on as he and his brother held each other roughly. He then eyed Antonio up and down. “You call yourself a priest!” He looked at Antonio disgustingly.”A priest!  You are a disgrace to everything you are suppose to stand for…everything!!  You are sick!! You make me sick!! DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU ANTONIO!!” Ricardo pushed him a few inches apart from him and threw a punch across Antonio’s face.
 
 
 

Antonio landed on the kitchen table and then fell over on his back.  Ricardo, stared over him, his legs slightly spread apart with his arms at his sides, breathing heavily, with the look of rage all over his face.  Antonio stayed on the floor, holding his jaw, only able to look down at the floor, ashamed.
 
 
 

“NO!  Stop it!!  Ricardo stop!!” Gabi stood at the door, worry all over her.  She ran to Antonio and helped him up.  Ricardo saw how quickly she had jumped to his aid and he found a sick humor in it.  He began to laugh.  Not a light laugh but a deep bellowed laugh that literally had him buckling over.  “It would be just like you to rescue you lover.” He stopped laughing and gave a cold stare. “Go ahead Gabi…..heal his wounds again.”
 
 
 

Antonio and Gabi looked over at him, stung by his words.  He looked like he was letting all of his good senses go.  Gabi was scared at watching the man she loved unravel but she knew that she would need to get him alone.  Gabi took it in and knew that she was deserving of everything he would have to say.  She needed to talk with Ricardo without Antonio being there.  She took a deep breath and gently turned Antonio to her. “Antonio, I need to talk to Ricardo alone….please go.” She was looking at him, hoping he would understand.
 
 
 

“No…I’ve had enough talk for one day…I want both of you to leave now!!” Ricardo was walking towards them about ready to throw them out.  Antonio, instinctively stepped in front of Gabi and eyed his brother down.  Ricardo looked him up and down, a little taken aback at Antonio’s instinctive reaction to protect Gabi. He smiled sarcastically and huffed. “Well, well….defending her all ready?  So tell me…..when are you leaving the priesthood?  When are you two crazy kids planning on getting married?” He finished with a cold stare.
 
 
 

Gabi stepped out from Antonio’s shield and placed herself between Ricardo and Antonio.  Ricardo gulped  the lump in his throat as she approached him.  He looked at her nervously, once again about ready to lose his resolve.  She stared deeply into his eyes and without wavering, “I’m not leaving……you and I are going to talk.” Gabi was determined and both Ricardo and Antonio knew she was not going to change her mind.  Ricardo accepted this and walked away from her toward the kitchen, his hands folded across his chest.  Gabi once again turned to face Antonio and her heart broke.  He was so lost.  He looked at her with such love in his eyes.  He didn’t want to leave her.  But she was not going to be able to handle the both of them at the same time.  It was too soon for that.  With her eyes pleading, she spoke. “Please Antonio….please leave….this is not about you right now.” She knew her words hurt him but she needed to get through to him. “I’ll be fine….You have to go.”
 
 
 

Antonio wanted so much to hold her but he couldn’t.  He was feeling so ashamed but he still had the desire and urge to hold her regardless of what he had done.  He knew she was right.  He couldn’t stay.  He looked over at Ricardo, who was still staring into the kitchen and then back at Gabi.  He wanted to tell her that he loved her but that was impossible.  It wouldn’t have done any good anyway.  At last, Antonio could see inside of her.  As much as he knew that she did love him, her love for Ricardo was the true love he had hoped for from her.  She loved Ricardo with all of her heart.  They shared something powerful and the realization of it hit him like a ton of bricks.  He took one last look at her and then slowly walked to the door.  He turned back one last time, hoping to catch his brother’s glance…but he was not to see him.  Antonio then walked out, his heart broken and his will almost gone.
 
 
 

Gabi and Ricardo stood there in the loft, neither saying a word.  He still had his back turned to her as Gabi boar her eyes into him.  She let out a sigh and dropped her purse on the kitchen table.  She then walked to the bed and gently sat down, looking at his back, hoping to gather the courage to speak.
 
 
 

“Why Gabi…..”Ricardo was the first to say anything.  His voice was mellow and full of emotion. “Just tell me why Gabi…..I need to know.” His voice faltered as he finished.
 
 
 

His voice made her melt.  Gabi knew how emotionally charged Ricardo had always been and this situation made him no different.  He was justifiably angry and hurt but deep down she knew that his sarcasm and indifferent expressions were not really him.  He was hurting deeply and Gabi had caused his pain.  That tore her up inside. She wanted to express how afraid she had been to fully love him.  How afraid she had been at fully taking hold of the love they had.  She wasn’t sure if she was going to be successful in telling him, she only hoped she would be able to get the words out. “I was afraid.” She said, the tears falling gently.
 
 
 

Ricardo turned to face her, tears in his face. “Afraid of what?” He pointed at himself. “You were afraid of me?  What does that mean Gabi…” He knelt down to her and searched for answers in her tear filled eyes. “What were you so afraid of?  I loved you…..that was all that mattered to me……why couldn’t it have been all that mattered to you too?” His voice was cracking terribly.
 
 
 

Gabi was overwhelmed. “Oh Ricardo…..I didn’t think I deserved the love you were so willing to give me.  I fell into my own insecurities.  I betrayed you.” She grabbed hold of his face and he let her. “Antonio is so much like you and….and…..I began to care…” She stopped when his face dropped to the floor but she continued to hold his face in her hands. “I made a mistake and then I made mistake after mistake with all the lies I told after having betrayed you.  I was confused Ricardo.  I wanted desparately to hold on to you.  I couldn’t lose you.  I was still so afraid of taking hold of the love we had but I knew that I loved you…I still do Ricardo….I love you so much it hurts.” She let go of his face and now cried freely into her hands.
 
 
 

Ricardo only stared at her, shocked by what he had just heard.  He slowly rose to his feet and continued to stare down on her.  He shook his head slowly. “No…..you can’t love me……..how can you love me?  You couldn’t possibly love me if you were with another man…” He winced at the thought of the other man. “My brother…..you slept with my brother Gabi……My God!!  You couldn’t possibly love me.” He was trying to make himself believe that she had no feelings for him. It was the only way he was going to be able to get through this.  If he believed that, then he could understand better.  But deep down, he knew she was telling the truth and that was what he did not want to face.
 
 
 

Gabi looked up finally, with her tear soaked face.  She rose to meet him and placed her hands on his chest.  Their touch was like fire between them.  Her hands began to shake. “No…..you can’t believe that….I know you don’t believe that.” Gabi clutched on to his shirt. “You can never believe that.  I love you Ricardo…..I have always loved you.  I made a mistake…..God!!  I’m so sorry…..I never wanted to hurt you.  I know that I have but I never intended to hurt you this way.”  She was literally convulsing with sobs. “But please, you have to believe that I love you…..I know you love me too Ricardo.  We can’t hide that from each other…..Please….Please believe that I love you…..Ricardo….don’t take that from me.” Gabi couldn’t continue.  She remained holding his shirt, staring into his eyes.  Her emotions were taking over and she couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him.  He met her lips and the two intertwined.  The feelings that rushed through their bodies was something that they had never felt before.  The lips trembled as they felt the soft, warm sensation of the kiss they shared.  Gabi was overcome as she pulled him closer, feeling his need to pull away but at the same time returning her kiss with the same passion.  He couldn’t deny her.  He grabbed her as he let go of his anger and held the woman he so desperately wanted to love and have love him in return.  Then it hit him.  The image of Gabi and Antonio once again flashed in his mind.  As Gabi pressed her body closer to his, Ricardo’s mind received a clearer picture of the two making love.  He pulled away at once, looking ready to breakdown.  He was fighting an inner battle between hating her and loving her.  He couldn’t take it.  He didn’t want to believe that she loved him.  She was a master at manipulating him and that was what she was doing now.  His face once again turned impassive as the thoughts kept rummaging through his head.  “You don’t love me!!” He screamed. “You never loved me!!” He approached her, once again angry. “All you know manipulation.  My mother was right….you are no good….you have never been good.” His breathing intensified as Gabi looked at him wide eyed, receiving his backlash. “I hate you Gabi Martinez!”  His face was only inches from her. “You make me sick…..you are filth…..you are disgusting!  How could I have ever loved you….you whore!  You filth of a human being.” He continued to berate her, falling deeper and deeper into the hateful part of his emotions.
 
 
 

Gabi couldn’t take it.  She brought her hands to her ears and covered them.  No! She thought.  He doesn’t mean this.  He can’t mean what he’s saying. He was loving me just a few seconds ago.  She shook her head and faced him. “NO!! You don’t mean this…no I don’t believe you!!” She screamed.
 
 
 

Ricardo was in full rage. “Yes I do!! Go back to your priestly saint!  Maybe he’ll please you!  Perhaps you two could have sex in the mission or have you done that already!!  You whore!!  You damn whore!!”  He couldn’t control the words from his mouth.  But he stopped there.  Gabi had run past him, screaming no.
 
 
 

She ran out the door, trying desperately to escape his insults.  He had drained her emotionally and her frame of mind was completely gone.  Gabi felt as if she were going to drop, but she managed to go down the stairs and run across the busy street intersection.
 
 
 

Ricardo watched as she ran out the door.  He had succeeded in bringing her to her lowest point.  That was what he had intended to do.  He had cut her deeply, just as deeply as she had cut him.  Her self worth was at a minimum.  He placed his hands on the table as he cried outward.  He had hurt her terribly with his words.  He was as drained as she was.  But something inside hit him more powerfully.  He had not meant a word he had said.  As much as he hurt from what she and his brother had done to him, Ricardo finally recognized that he still loved them.  The realization hit him like a bucket of water.  He had hurt them as they had hurt him.  An eye for an eye.  He had let his anger and rage get the better of him and he had hurt them.  Especially Gabi.  He lifted his head and looked over at the open door.  Gabi had run out so distraught.  He had managed to berate her in the worst possible way.  As he continued to stare at the door, her face appeared in his mind…..her smile penetrated throughout.
 
 
 

“GABI!!!” He screamed as he ran out the door, chasing after her….
 
 
 
 

Gabi was walking aimlessly through the streets.  She was in a complete daze and was walking from the sidewalk to the streets where the cars drove by.  She finally crossed onto the street in an attempt to cross, but her mind was not paying attention to the cars flying by.  She was engrossed in the scene she has just had with Ricardo.  The cruelty of his words cut her like a knife.  She was replaying all the words he had said, not wanting to believe them.  Why? She kept thinking.  Why did I hurt him?  Gabi wavered out in front of a car which was coming toward a light.  She didn’t even notice it.  The car was heading directly at her but Gabi’s mind was only on Ricardo.  She had lost the man she loved and that was all that entered her mind…..
 
 
 

Ricardo was searching for Gabi in the busy intersection.  It was rush hour and there were cars driving by at fast speeds.  He finally spotted Gabi and franticallly called out her name.  He could tell she was not herself.  She was wandering aimlessly through the intersection, lost in her own thoughts.  He had done this.  He hit his leg as he thought back to what he had said.  He regretted every word he had said.  As he continued to call her name as he slowly gained on her, he noticed Gabi crossing in front of a car, which was going at full speed.  His jaw dropped.  He was within twenty feet of Gabi.  His head turned from Gabi to the fast approaching car which was enroute to hitting her.  She had no clue it was about to strike her.  Ricardo’s mind acted. “GABI!!!!!!” He screamed as his legs ran toward her.  As he finally reached her, he pushed her onto the sidewalk and she fell over like a bowling ball knocking over pins.  He tried to follow the direction of her fall but it was too late.  The car had reached him and was still going at full speed.  Ricardo’s eyes widened as he felt the impact of the car hit is middrift.  He rolled over the car and then roughly fell onto the trunk and then toppled over onto the street.  The car braked immediately as Ricardo lay on the pavement….
 
 
 

Gabi saw it all happen.  As she felt herself being pushed onto the sidewalk her side turned to face the street.  By the time she saw Ricardo, pushing her away, he had been struck by the car.  Everything happened in slow motion.  She saw Ricardo’s body flung over the hood of the car and fear struck her instantly. “NO!!!!!!!!” She screamed.  Tears started running down her face as she got up and ran instinctively to his motionless body.  “NOOOOO!!!!” She kept screaming as she reached him…..
 
 
 
 

Ricardo lied on the pavement.  He didn’t even feel pain.  All he could feel was an overwhelming sense of drowsiness.  He felt warm liquid run through his clothes and hands.  He could not move and his entire body felt motionless.  He stared off into the sky, breathing slowly as his eyes fluttered back and forth.  “Gabi……Gabi….” He whispered outloud, his voice completely drained.  He could feel his body slipping. The image of Gabi was the last thing he thought of before the blue sky above turned completely black……
 
 

Chapter Seven
 

The waiting room was a place that had been visited once to many times in the last few months.  The anguish and the sorrow, but above all, fear, had struck everyone one of the individuals who were once again waiting at South Bay General.  Each was having their own thoughts.  No one was speaking or really looking at each other.  They stared off into space or paced back and forth, wondering, what would happen this time.  How much trauma could one body handle?  Would at one point the soul and body finally give up and be carried off into an unknown oblivion.  This question as well as many other questions were running through the minds of the four individuals who loved Ricardo Torres dearly.  Maria and Carmen sat in one corner of the room, each supporting the other.  Maria’s face kept looking from one angle to the other.  She was watching intently a person walked by the waiting room, hoping with every second that someone would come by to tell them how her brother was doing.
 
 
 

Carmen was another story.  She was staring off into space, her mind racing with different outcomes of this situation.  She could no longer cry any tears for she had met her quota. Her saddened face merely stared off into the halls of the hospital.  She knew her beloved son could not take much more.  He had been traumatized beyond belief, not only by body, but by soul.  Carmen sensed a tragic ending to the matter with also a new beginning for her family.  She could see what was going to happen and her heart sank with every moment that passed.  She had always been proud of her psychic ability but now, she wished she could shut off the supernatural phenomenon and not see what would happen.  She squeezed Maria’s hand a little tighter and lifted her head to the ceiling, somehow managing to find some unused tears.
 
 
 

Antonio was the opposite of his mother and sister.  Where they could barely move from the fear they were experiencing, he could not stop moving.  He had been pacing back and forth between the room and the chapel, praying at every instance.  He had been at the mission when Maria had called to tell him that Ricardo had been struck by a car.  Antonio had felt an instant sharp pain to the heart and he had literally run all the way to the hospital from the mission.  That had been eight hours and Ricardo was still in surgery, his life trying to saved yet again by a team of doctors.  His pacing grew even faster as he thought back to the incident in Ricardo’s loft.  His brother had been so angry and hurt.  He had berated him with such harsh vocabulary and Antonio had done nothing but take in every word he mouthed.  He had deserved everything his brother had dished out and more.  The look on Ricardo’s face, one of disappointment and betrayal would always haunt him.  Antonio finally leaned into a wall and placed his forehead against the wall.  As he shut his eyes, he saw Gabi.  Gabi had entered their confrontation and taken over.  She had wanted to stop the bad blood between him and his brother.  He turned and finally laid his eyes on her.  A rush of love washed over him.  It was the same feeling he always had whenever his eyes saw her beautiful face.  He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.  She was oblivious to his glance.  Gabi was off in her own little world, her heart longing and breaking for Ricardo.  She loved Ricardo.  The phrase kept running through his mind over and over again as he looked at her.  He felt ashamed for feeling the jealousy that once again washed over him.  He had not realized just how much Gabi had loved his brother until just today, when he and Ricardo had argued.  She was out to protect the both of them but something in Gabi’s voice and especially in her expressions made it all to clear to Antonio.  Her love was truly with Ricardo, and Antonio realized it always had been.  He had no doubt that she loved him, but what she shared with Ricardo was a rarity of loves and nothing could ever break that bond.  That’s the way it was meant to be.  But he could not help but feel saddened.  Gabi was the love of his life and now more than ever he realized that he was not being true to God.  He had been praying and asking for guidance from the moment he had betrayed his brother.  Now, finally, Antonio knew what he had to do, what he had always had to do.  His gaze continued to follow Gabi as she rocked in her chair.  She was so in love and he wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but she was not what he needed now.  What she needed was the love of his brother…….only that would save her now.
 
 
 

Gabi was full of guilt.  She sat there, contemplating what had happened over and over in her mind as she waited on news of her beloved.  The tears had been running steadily for many hours now.  So much had she cried, that her head was splitting in two from all the emotions she was she was feeling.  Her Ricardo.  Her beautiful Ricardo was once again fighting for his life because of her.  Her.  Gabi placed her face in her hands and sank into the depression she was already feeling head on.  In her mind, she couldn’t understand how she could hurt someone, who she so desperately loved with all of her heart, so many times.  Her inability to see what real love was had finally caught up with her and unfortunately, Ricardo had been the one who was paying for her mistakes.  Her head began to feel even more intense pain as she kept on thinking on what she had done.  How could I do this?  She thought.  All I ever do is hurt him.  What is wrong with me?  Images of Ricardo were consistently flashing through her mind.  His eyes, his smile, his caringness, and above all, his ability to love.  He was remarkable.  And Gabi was beating at herself for not realizing much sooner just how remarkable he really was.  She had blown it.  And now the man she loved, was in surgery, paying for yet another mistake she had created.  A sharp stab crept through her heart as she relived him being struck by a car.  That hit was meant for her.  But Ricardo had gallantly stepped in front and pushed her aside, taking the blow of the speeding car all to himself.  Gabi cringed as she saw him rolling over the top of the car onto the pavement, motionless.  Her heart had sunk as she rushed to his side, unconscious as she reached him.  He still loved her.  He had run after her, even after all she the pain she had caused him, and he still loved her.  Her tears began anew as she felt waves of emotions rush through.  They were so powerful she felt they would break through her skin.  She couldn’t lose him.  Regardless of what happened between them, she could not lose him.  Just the thought of him being safe, even though away from her, would satisfy Gabi.  She had finally grasped on fully to the love they shared.  She was no longer afraid of it.  The love she felt inside was hers and Ricardo’s and nothing would take that away from her….ever.
 
 
 

Tyus stood at the entrance to the waiting room, watching all four souls sickly worried over his patient.  They were off in their own little worlds and did not notice him.  He cleared his throat to get their attention.  Instantly all four pair of eyes looked his way, anxious but yet fearful to hear what he had to say.  This was the hardest part of being a doctor.  Maria, Carmen, Gabi, and Antonio all gathered near each other, standing and nervously awaiting what Tyus was about to say.
 
 
 

“Ricardo has just come out of surgery.  It was a grueling procedure.  Ricardo suffered a lot of internal injuries and we have done our best to repair all of the injuries.” Tyus had to stop.  He had become attached to this family.  They had suffered so much in the last few months. “He’s intensive care now….but I can’t promise you anything.” He stopped again and this time spoke as a friend, and not as a doctor.  He slowly approached them, anguish showing on his face.  “Everybody, I’m not going to lie to you.  Ricardo has been through a lot these past few months.  His poor body has endured so much trauma and there is only so much it can take.  The next 24 hours are going to be seriously critical.  He will be extremely weak and possibly not even thinking straight.  You have to prepare yourselves for the worst is what I am basically trying to say.  Please just remember that.  He’s a strong man but….” He was faltering as he saw all of them drop in spirit. “He’s unconscious and for now, I don’t want anyone in there.  Let him rest for a little while and then I’ll allow one or two of you at a time go in with him.  Hearing your voices will do him good.  But like I said, only one or two at a time.” Tyus sighed again.  “I’m sorry I don’t have better news……like I said, keep your faith in him….” He looked at all of the one last time, then he turned around and walked away.
 
 
 

The four of them looked in the direction where Tyus had stood, still shocked at what he had said.  Carmen immediately began to talk. “I’m going in with my son…..I have to see him.” She was unable to hold herself together.  She was anxious to see Ricardo and her desperation showed.
 
 
 

“Mama….we have to listen to Tyus…..you heard him.  Ricardo has just gotten out of surgery….we need to give them time to help him further.” Maria understood her mother’s impatience….she was feeling it as well.  She grabbed her by the shoulders, hoping to calm her down. “Mama….let’s got get a cup of coffee….hopefully by the time we get back….maybe we’ll be able to peek in on him.” She tried to smile at her to assure her everything would be alright.  She looked over at Antonio, who was still lost in his own world. “Why don’t we all go get something to drink.  It’s useless to just stand around right now.”  Antonio and Gabi looked over.  “Let’s all go….it will do us some good to get some fresh air.
 
 
 

Antonio did need to get out of the waiting room if only for a brief while.  He was sickened by what Tyus had said to them.  Ricardo was still in danger and the idea tore him up inside.  If he couldn’t see Ricardo for now, he needed to change his surroundings…both he and Gabi needed it. He turned to Gabi and made her look at him.  She stared back, with a lost look in her eyes. “Gabi..” He spoke soflty. “Maria is right.  We need to get out of here for awhile.  Let’s take a small break and then we’ll come back.  Then we can all see Ricardo.” He smiled at her as best as he could.  She was completely drained by everything and her face showed it immensely.
 
 
 

Gabi did not want to leave.  But she did want everyone to leave for the time being.  She managed to smile back at Antonio and gently kissed him on the cheek, hoping to be convincing enough to send him off with his family. “I’m not hungry or thirsty.  Why don’t all of you go and I’ll hold down the fort.  You never know.  Tyus might come back with news.  I don’t want to leave him.” Her voice was wavering but she did her best to keep it level. “When you get back, then I’ll go…..” She could see Antonio was not listening to her.  He didn’t want to leave her. “Antonio…” She whispered so only he could hear. “ Please……leave…..I need to be alone…..please…” She was about ready to let go of the flow of tears.
 
 
 

Antonio finally understood and caressed her cheek.  She wanted to be alone in her own thoughts.  She needed the time to herself.  He gave her a half smile before going over to Maria and Carmen and linking arms with them.  They began to walk to the cafeteria.  Antonio and Maria looked back at Gabi, smiling as best as they could before walking off.  Gabi saw their backs as they walked away from her.  She breathed a sigh of relief.  She had not planned on sitting and waiting any longer.  Gabi slowly walked out of the waiting room.  Her mind was focused on one thing…..she wanted to see Ricardo….
 
 
 

As Antonio walked to the cafeteria with Maria and Carmen, he suddenly stopped.  He couldn’t explain the sensation he was feeling but he knew he needed to go back to find Gabi.  He shook his head as he stared off into the hallway.
 
 
 

“Antonio…..what’s wrong?” Maria grabbed hold of him, a little worried at his sudden stop.
 
 
 

He looked at her and he made an excuse.  “Ah….I wanted to visit the chapel after we finished our coffee, but I left my rosary beads in the waiting room…..Listen, go on ahead and I’ll go back and grab them….I’ll catch up to you.” It was a lie but he needed to lie in order to not make Maria suspicious.  She seemed to accept his reason.  They both did.  Carmen and Maria were in no condition to question him.  Maria simply nodded and grabbed her mother’s hand, then she and Carmen proceeded into the cafeteria.  Antonio saw them enter before turning his head back.  He knew Gabi too well.  She was not waiting to hear news of his brother.  She was going in search of him.  He couldn’t explain it but he felt he was going to be needed.  He trudged back to the intensive care unit, in search of Gabi and Ricardo…..
 
 
 

Gabi opened the door to the room Ricardo was placed in.  As soon as she saw him, she gasped uncontrollably.  He was bandaged all the way to his chest.  He had tubes coming and going from his nose.  He had the IV needle sticking from his arm.  She slowly walked over to him, her hand over her mouth, sobbing at the sight of the man she loved.  She grabbed a chair and sat on his left side.  She stared at him, sadly, for a few minutes before finally taking hold of his hand and bringing it up to her face, kissing it tenderly through the tears she was creating.  She couldn’t believe he was there, in a hospital bed, again.  She had put him through so much in the past few months.  If it had not been for her, he would not be lying there now, fighting for his life.  She kept his hand right in her cheek as she lovingly stared at him.  She couldn’t lose him.  The thought of not having him in her life terrified her beyond belief.  Despite his harsh words at the loft, she knew he still cared for her.  He had proved it by saving her life.  She felt helpless as she continued to watch, hoping and praying he would awaken so she could see his beautiful eyes on her.  She was trying hard to regain her composure, so Ricardo would know she was being strong for him.  “Ricardo….please…..wake up…….you have to wake up…….” She was beginning to tear again as tried to choke away the tenseness in her throat.  “Your family….they need you……all of your friends…..they need you.” Her face clouded over in pain. “Ricardo……I need you.” She was crying profusely now.  She layed his hand down by his side and gently ran her hands over his chest, as she looked from his chest to his face.  She got up from the chair and very gently brought herself onto the side of the bed.  She lifted her legs up and layed next to Ricardo, placing her head on his chest, holding him gently.  Her tears were unstoppable as she held him in her arms. “Oh Ricardo…..please……I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” She looked up slowly at his face. “Please……please……you can’t leave me……I know I have no right to ask you for anything but…please Ricardo…..you can’t leave me!”  She continued to lay next to him but brought her hands to his face, caressing him. “Say something……please.  Just…..yell at me…….say you hate me……just say something……”  She paused as words kept getting  stuck. “Just….don’t leave me…..please Ricardo……don’t leave me…..” Her eyes remained on him.  A few seconds passed……then Ricardo slowly opened his eyes.  Gabi gasped at the sight of his big brown eyes, staring off into the ceiling.  A small tear fell from Gabi’s eye as she looked on wide eyed. “Ricardo?……Ricardo……” He slowly moved his weakened gaze on to her, staring into her eyes.  His hand slowly raised and Gabi  grabbed hold of it, bringing it to her chest, as she smiled gratefully at him. “I knew you would wake up….I knew it.”  She smiled at him through her tears.
 
 
 

Ricardo felt so weak.  So exhausted by all the activity his body had been put through.  But he also felt so at peace.  All the anger, all the pain and hurt, all of the betrayals, didn’t matter anymore in his eyes.  He reasoned that not only did doctors try and mend his injuries but they must have mended his heart as well.  He no longer hated nor did he want to hate.  His heart was overflowing with forgiveness and love.  A tear fell from the corner of his eye as he stared lovingly at Gabi.  She looked so beautiful to him despite through her tears.  Those tears.  Those tears were for him and it tore him up inside to see her in so much pain. “Gabi……” he spoke softly and weakly. “Gabi…….don’t cry…….I don’t like to see you cry……” A huge lump formed in his throat as he became even more exhausted from the exertion of the words he had barely spoken.
 
 
 

Gabi could only smile back and kiss his hand. “Shhhhhhh……shhhhhhh…..don’t speak…..you have to rest….” She was overwhelmed.  He seemed happy to see her.  After everything she had put him through, he still seemed happy to see her. “Just rest…”
 
 
 

Ricardo closed his eyes and swallowed, as he slowly began shaking his head. “No…….I have to tell you things……I need to tell you…..it’s important..” His voice cracked.  Gabi kept protesting but he slowly placed his two fingers on her lips to gently silence her.  His strength was ebbing away but he continued. “Gabi…..I----I  want you to know……that I will always be with you….ok?…..I’ll always be with you, no matter what…” His tears were falling onto the pillow.
 
 
 

Gabi couldn’t control the flux of tears.  Her body began to shake as she cried heavily.  How could he forgive her? It was inconceivable that he could actually forgive her. “Ricardoooo…” she choked out. “How can you forgive me so easily…..” She convulsed in tears. “How can you be so forgiving?” She closed her eyes in shame as he continued to caress her face.
 
 
 

He hated seeing her in so much pain.  It broke him inside.  He did forgive her……he had too. “Gabi……I was so hurt by what you and Tony did…….I can’t deny that.” He swallowed yet another huge lump in his throat. “But…..I can’t hate you…..I tried…..I tried so hard to hate you….but I just couldn’t…..I couldn’t do it baby…….I’m sorry for what I said to you.” He lips were trembling and the emotions he was feeling were stinging every part of his body. “I’m sooo sorry……I didn’t mean them-“
 
 
 
 

“No…..no…..don’t apologize…..oh Ricardo!!  Please don’t do that to me..  oh baby…..you’re gonna be ok.” She leaned in and kissed his chest.” You’re gonna be ok.  We’ll do our best to work this through and I promise.” She began to tremble in tears again. “I promise you…….I will never hurt you again…..please give me that chance……please forgive me.” Gabi was racked in emotions.  She placed her head to his side as she cried uncontrollably.  Ricardo slowly lifted her head to meet him, staring at her even more in love than before.
 
 
 

“Gabi…..I have already forgiven you…..everyone…..I can’t not forgive…..I have to….for me…..and for all of you.  Please promise to tell Maria and Mama…….that----that I understand why they did what they did……make them understand that it’s ok.  I love them….and I have forgiven them….as I have my brother….” At the mention of Antonio, Ricardo looked up at the ceiling, more tears flowing. “And….you……I forgive you….my love……..” He tried to calm her, she was trembling and crying profusely. “I’ll always be with you……I’ll always be in you heart…..I’ll never leave your heart…..always remember that.”  He burned her face in his mind….never wanting to forget it.
 
 
 

Gabi was feeling a sense of relief and joy that she had never felt.  He forgave her.  He had found it in his heart o forgive her.  She could ask for nothing more. “Oh baby…..of course you’ll never leave…..we’ll be together…..always……you’re not going anywhere.”  She was laughing slightly through the sobs at the thought of moving forward with him.
 
 
 

Ricardo’s heart broke again.  She didn’t understand.  As much as he hated to leave her…..he had no choice.   He caressed her face, so weak and fighting so hard to stay awake. “Yes I am……..I have to go away for awhile Gabi……I have to go…..”
 
 
 

Antonio burst in.  His eyes were puffy from having been crying.  He had been standing outside the door, hearing everything that had been said.  At hearing his brother’s last comment, he had to come in and see him.  He had been touched deeply by the tender moment that Gabi and Ricardo had shared.  He shook from head to toe as he slowly gravitated toward his brother, consumed in tears.  Gabi and Ricardo both looked at him.  Gabi’s gaze kept wavering from Antonio to Ricardo, but Ricardo’s gaze had been focused on his brother since he saw him walk through the door.  Antonio sat down on the other side, opposite Gabi.  Gabi and Antonio kept their faces on Ricardo, not wanting to let him out of their sight.
 
 
 

Ricardo felt a rush of love wave over him as Antonio sat next to him.  He took a hold of Antonio’s hand and squeezed gently, working hard to place a smile on his face. “I was wondering what was taking you so long bro…”He gulped again as his body was slowly slipping. “Gabi and I-----I----were chatting a little….and you kinda came up in the conversation.” He chuckled lightly but had to stop when he felt a horrible pain cross his mid section.  He winced Gabi and Ricardo became frightened at his reaction. “I’m----ok….” He looked back to Antonio. “I need to ask you a favor…..ok?” He was soothing Antonio’s hand because of the tears coming down his brother’s face.  He motioned Antonio to lean in closer.  Antonio did and had his ear next to Ricardo’s mouth.  Ricardo licked his lips and spoke. “I need you to take care of Gabi now………she’s going to need you…….it’s your turn to watch over her……” Ricardo stopped when Antonio lifted his head to meet his eyes, his sobs becoming increasingly worse.  Antonio was shaking his head not wanting to believe what his brother was trying to tell him.”T…..listen to me……it’s ok.  I want this for you two……I understand everything…..how could you not love her?…..” Ricardo turned his attention to the woman beside him, who was once again consumed in tears. “She’s wonderful……and I was lucky enough to have her love me…..love me so much.” His voice cracked as he again turned to Antonio.  “Promise me….you’ll be happy……you’re not cut out to be a priest……you have so much love to give T……I know you do….please…..don’t throw that away.”
 
 
 

Antonio was so overwhelmed that he had his face in his hands, crying like a baby, whispering. “No….no…..Ricardo…”
 
 
 

Gabi was awestruck.  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Ricardo was giving them their his blessing.  No! She thought…..he can’t leave me.  She kept shaking her head no, no…..”No!!  I love you…..Ricardo…don’t do this…..I love you…..you are my life….you are my everything……NO!! NO!!”  She shook her head repeatedly.”
 
 
 

Ricardo closed his eyes then opened them again.  He knew what he had to do.  Without looking at either of them, he grabbed each of their hands.  He slowly linked Gabi’s hand into Antonio’s, holding his hand over theirs.  Gabi and Antonio, with their mouths open and tears all over their faces, stared at each other. Ricardo squeezed tightly before speaking. “I finally understood.  How could I blame any of you for loving each other.  I love you both so how could I ever have expected anything less from either of you.” Ricardo’s tears gently started again as he kept their hands linked and he turned to Gabi. “Gabi…..I know you love me…..I didn’t want to believe it but I know that you do.  I know you will always love me with you’re whole heart……but…..we weren’t meant to be together on this earth…..I wonder…how two people who love each other as much as we do can’t be together….but it happens…..I have to accept that and so do you sweetheart……I’ll always be with you…..and I never want you to feel like I doubt your love…because I never….never will….do you hear me?” He was slipping. “I want you to promise me……when you are ready….and I know you will be one day……please…..take hold of the love you have for Antonio….and trust in it.  Trust in it the way you learned to trust in mine.” Tears were flowing freely from him. “Please promise me you will….I love you Gabi…..I want you to be a happy.”
 
 
 

Gabi could barely look at him.  This man she loved so much was telling her to move on…..without him.  She wasn’t sure she ever would be able to.  But she couldn’t deny his wish.  Her face so full of love and devotion, leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips before answering him.  She would never stop loving him…never. “I promise……I promise I will.”
 
 
 

Antonio still had his head on his brother’s chest, his one hand still linked with Gabi’s.  Ricardo had let go of their hands, watching as they held each hand.  He lifted Antonio’s chin to look at him, his brother’s eyes so full of pain and sadness. “I forgive you bro…….love her……..just love her the way you know how……I want you to…..I love you…..I love you T……promise me…..promise me?” Ricardo was exhausted.
 
 
 

Antonio shut his eyes and slowly nodded his head.  His brother was remarkable.  He couldn’t believe that this man loved him so much and could forgive him so bravely.  Like Gabi, he couldn’t say no to his brother, he would never reject him again. “I promise bro…..I love you too.” His voice faltered, not able to say another word.
 
 
 

Ricardo was satisfied and he breathed a sigh of relief.  They were going to be ok.  He had made sure of that.  The two people he loved most in this world would love him but in time, they would love each other.  Gabi would find love again…..in his beloved brother.  Ricardo was sure of it and there was nothing in the world that could make him happier.  He looked back and forth to each of them….so weak now his eyes were almost shut. “I love you both……never forget that…..I love you so much….” His voice trailed.  Ricardo saw the light.  He grabbed for it….the last images he saw were of Antonio and Gabi, loving him.
 
 
 

The heart monitor flatlined, as Gabi and Antonio immediately dropped their hands.  They stared at Ricardo’s lifeless body, shocked.  His hands were to his side and his face held a small smile, as if her were sleeping.  He looked so at peace.  Gabi rose as the realization hit her.  She was cried out.  Her world had been taken from her.  Antonio looked on, unable to cry anymore tears.  They looked at each other, their faces racked in pain.  Gabi turned again toward Ricardo.  She sat on the edge of his bed, lifting his body and she held him in her arms.  Antonio followed suit and sat on the other side, holding a part of him.  They buried their faces in his hair as the tears now flowed again.  Ricardo was dead.  Gabi whispered in his ears, “Goodbye my love……goodbye.” She held him tightly, her hand across his chest, grazing Antonio’s arms.  Antonio was convulsed in tears.  The two of them felt each other pain.  As the steady sound of the heart monitor sounded, they sat there holding Ricardo’s lifeless body, crying for the loss of the man they both loved……never once letting him go….or each other….
 

Chapter Eight
 

Maria and Carmen were standing over Ricardo’s grave in Sunset Beach Cemetery.  Carmen was still lost as she leaned down to place a wreath of flowers in her son’s gravestone.  She tried to stand back up but found herself weak at the knees suddenly and sank to the wet grass and sadly looked on to the words on the headstone.  She sat there, gazing upon Ricardo’s name, not blinking for an instant.  Maria stood over her mother, her glance also on the headstone.  It was exactly one month to the day since Ricardo had died.  Maria thought back to the day her brother had passed away.  She and Carmen had been returning from the cafeteria, going in the direction of the waiting room, when they saw a swarm of doctors and nurses rush by them.  Carmen and Maria both felt an eerie sensation and followed their pursuit.  They had rushed into the room and saw Antonio and Gabi standing in a far corner, holding each other, both with stunned looks on their faces.  The medical staff rushed to use the paddles.  With each jolt, everyone jumped in fear.  Maria had been stone cold.  They tried for five minutes before her brother had been pronounced dead.  Her mother had gone into hysterics and rushed to Ricardo.  She had touched his body and had immediately fainted.  But what Maria had remembered and would remember for the rest of her life was Gabi.  While she and Antonio had rushed to their mother after having fainted, Gabi had walked slowly back to Ricardo’s side.  Her face was completely tear stained and her eyes were red from so many tears being shed.  Gabi was oblivious to everything else except for the man who was lying on the bed, lifeless and unable to breathe any longer.  Gabi no longer sobbed.  She simply leaned into him and kissed his lips, softly and gently.  She had been mesmerized by his peaceful, angelic presence.  Maria watched the entire episode and that was when the realization had hit her.  Her brother.  Her beloved brother, was gone.  As she continued to watch Gabi, staring lovingly at Ricardo, caressing his still warm face, Maria broke down on the floor of the room.  Shedding all the tears she had saved….all the tears which were meant for her brother’s death.  And now, as she continued to stand by his grave, the tears slowly streamed down her face as she remembered her brother.  She would no longer see him smile, he would no longer overprotect her, he would no longer be there to have wonderful talks with, and he would no longer be there to share his goodness.  That had been taken away from all of them.  Maria knelt down next to her mother, who still had her hand rested on Ricardo’s name.  She placed her head on her shoulder and gently kissed her mother’s cheek.  Carmen barely knew her she was there.  Her focus was only on her son’s name.  They had lost a son and a brother.  Nothing would ever be the same.  They could only hope that with time, the pain would slowly fade.  They were suffering at the loss of such a wonderful man and they would suffer for a long time to come.  Maria and Carmen held each other, knelt beside Ricardo’s grave, hoping that one day, they would be able to move on…..without Ricardo in their lives…..
 
 
 

Antonio reached the top of the stairs leading to Ricardo’s loft.  He looked in, expecting to be greeted with the same vision.  And he was.  Gabi had stayed in the loft, unable to leave anything of Ricardo’s out of her sight.  She was in the same spot she always occupied whenever he came to see her, sitting at the kitchen table, with a cup of coffee in her hands, staring off into space, pensively.  He brought his head down and sighed, rubbing his eyes before entering.  He had been visiting her for a month now.  Today was especially hard for all of them……today was the month anniversary since Ricardo’s death.  He breathed in deeply one more time, shielding the pain he felt inside in order to help Gabi.   He walked in and noticed the smell of spanish rice and enchiladas…..Ricardo’s favorite meal.  He stared into the loft sadly.  On the desk, beside the bed, were the endless condolence cards, sent to his family and Gabi.  Gabi had arranged them all, standing upright and had placed a picture of Ricardo right in front of them.  He moved over to the bed.  There lied every single picture of Ricardo and of Ricardo and Gabi, strewn in no particular order.  Although he hadn’t seen her stare at them while he was around, Antonio knew that staring at those pictures for countless hours was the main priority on her daily agenda.  The room was dismal and dark in spirit, with the exception of a fresh flower in a vase on the kitchen table.  Antonio eyed it a little curiously.  That was new.  He had not seen it the day before.  He hoped that was a sign that Gabi was breaking through the depression she had been under.  He walked over to her and placed his right hand on her left shoulder, hoping to gain her attention.  But Gabi continued to sip her coffee, staring aimlessly at the wall in front of her, not acknowledging him at all.  He sighed.  He walked to the other side of the kitchen table and sat down across from her.  As he sat, his eyes met hers.  She did not avert them.  They looked at each other for a few moments before Gabi finally looked away.  He couldn’t stand seeing her so depressed.  It tore him up inside to see her day in and day out engulfing herself in the pain and suffering of Ricardo’s death.  She was taking it very badly.  She wanted nothing more but to mourn him.  Antonio noticed that she had on one of Ricardo’s shirts on, the sleeves were long and she had rolled them in order to conform to her petite wrists.  He placed his elbows on the table, once again looking at her. “Gabi……let’s go for a walk…..how does that sound?”  His voice was cheerful.  It was not only for her benefit, but for his as well.  She had rejected him countless times in the past month.  Gabi had barely left the loft since his brother had died.  He could see Gabi was ignoring his question, so he decided to push a little further. “Come on Gabi….the sun is shining, the birds are chirping……it’s a gorgeous day to take a walk on the boardwalk.” His face went from cheer to pleading.  He grabbed one of her hands and sighed again. “Please Gabi……you need to get out.” He looked at her pleadingly, needing it just as much as she did.
 
 
 

Gabi immediately withdrew her hand from his and pushed back a lock of hair behind her ear.  She kept her gaze down, not looking at him.  “No…..I don’t feel like walking.” She answered him dryly.
 
 
 

Antonio’s emotions were once again escalating.  He wanted to so much to help her but she was not allowing it.  She had answered him curtly.  The same curtness she had been using for a month now.   He had not seen her cry since she had last held Ricardo right after he had died.  At the funeral, she kept an impassive face, while he bawled like a baby.  She was emotionless now.  Gabi seemed to reserve her bouts of sobbing for herself only.  She wasn’t even sharing that with him anymore.  He missed her….he missed her companionship.  He longed for it so much he felt like he would burst if she didn’t look at him or hold him.  He needed her.  He refrained from touching her again but his voice came out soft but firm, jammed with emotion. “You can’t go on living like this Gabi……you have to go on living.” He licked his lips as he could see her lips quivering slightly. “This isn’t how Ricardo would want you to act…..he didn’t ask you to remember him in sorrow.  I know this is hard.” He stopped as he was about to let go of his sorrow. “This is just as hard on me, and Mama, and Maria, but we’re trying Gabi…..we’re trying to remember him in the good times…..we can’t wallow and sink into a depression.  He wouldn’t want this…..he told us, remember?” Gabi immediately looked at him after his last comment.  He had struck her and from the looks on her face, she was not pleased with what he had said.
 
 
 

Gabi was feeling anger inside, anger at everything and everyone.  Now especially at Antonio. “Don’t tell me how I should remember him.” Her eyes were shooting daggers at Antonio. “I remember exactly what he promised made me promise……” Her face softened a bit as she was about to let her emotions rip through. “I remember…..”
 
 
 

Antonio shut his eyes and dropped his head.  He had not meant to upset her but he needed to finally push her.  Otherwise, he would lose her.  He would lose the Gabi he had known before…….and loved before.  “Gabi I’m sorry…..I don’t mean to push, but you’re not letting anyone help you.  You can’t do this on your own…..this is too painful to handle by yourself. You need people and people need you……I need you.” His voice wavered as he swallowed the huge lump in his throat.
 
 
 

Gabi tightened the expression on her face as she tried desperately to hold back everything she was feeling.  She couldn’t handle what Antonio needed right now.  She couldn’t even look at him or she would burst out crying.  She sprang from the table and turned her back on him, still holding back the tears that so desperately wanted to be released. She was consumed in her own pain and she didn’t want to do anything but remember Ricardo in her own way.  She couldn’t let go of him.  She wasn’t sure she ever wanted to let him go.
“I can’t be there for you Antonio.” She spoke softly, for the first time. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be there for you.  I know what I promised him….but you have to understand that I loved him.” She turned to him finally, a small tear forming at the corner of her eye. “I will always love him.  I can’t betray him again.  My loyalty is with him and it always will be Antonio.  He is the love of my life…..and he always will be.” She walked slowly towards him as he continued to look her way. “I wanted to die with him when he left me…..don’t you understand that?  I didn’t want to live anymore if I couldn’t be with him. His life was mine.  And when it was taken away, I felt I went with him.  I didn’t have anything to live for Antonio……he was my everything.” She was now crying softly and Antonio had joined her in her tears. “I can’t let go of him…..I’m not sure I ever will be.” Her head faced down.  She walked over to the bed and sat down, picking up one of the many pictures she had of the two of them together.  She kissed the picture and brought it to her heart, closing her eyes.
 
 
 

Her words had stung him.  Antonio had long ago accepted that Gabi’s feelings for his brother had always been stronger than what she felt for him, but still, her words cut him like a knife.  He hadn’t meant to come across like he was asking for her love in return.  He knew that would take time.  Perhaps it would never happen.  Ricardo was so deep in Gabi’s soul that he wasn’t sure she would ever let anyone, not even him, in heart again.  She had misunderstood him, but how could she not?  They had caused Ricardo’s last days to be painful and it was due to a love that had surfaced for each other.  She must have thought that he wanted her to accept him…now.  As much as he did want that, he knew now was not the right time.  He merely needed her to help him with his pain.  Only she could soothe his torture.  He walked over to her and knelt beside her, staring lovingly into her beautiful face. “Gabi…….I didn’t mean----.” He wasn’t sure what to say to her.  She was so engrossed in her love for his brother that he wasn’t sure if any of the words he used would matter.  But he had to try. “I wasn’t trying to ask you to let me love you the way you know I do……I know I can’t take his place…I would never want to do that.  I know what you shared with him was something that will never completely die.  The love you two shared was one of a kind.” He teared greatly as his gaze never wavered off of her.  Gabi continued to have her eyes closed, clutching the picture of her and Ricardo to her heart.  “I could never ask you to forget it…..I would be inhuman to even think it of asking you that.  All I’m asking is that you let me help you cope with Ricardo’s death.  You need me…..in know you do….as your friend……and Gabi.” His voice was cracking now. “Gabi…..I need you….I need you to help me so much.” He was convulsed in tears, finally fully tapping into his feelings and the pain and suffering of losing his brother.  He sank to the floor, and brought his knees to his chest as he cried into his arms. “I miss him so much……you don’t know how much I want him back….I want him to scream at me…..call me a jerk…..I want to hold him….or just look at him from afar….anything!  I just want him hear!!  I don’t want him to be dead……it’s not fair!!  I don’t have a part of him I can hold onto.  He forgave me…but I don’t feel that is enough…..I need more Gabi.  I want more.  You had his love and he had your love.  That’s the closest thing I have to holding on to him.  Please don’t push me away…..please!!”  He was lost in his tears and sorrow.  He was letting it all go, finally.
 
 
 

Gabi had dropped the picture and his words finally hit home to her.  It broke her heart to see Antonio so hurt.  She knew that he could only and would only break down in front of her.  And he was doing it now.  She had been so consumed in her own pain that she had neglected to see how much Antonio had been suffering.  She had not wanted him to be near her.  As much as she wanted to hold onto everything that Ricardo had touched, having Antonio near only reminded on how she had lost Ricardo.  She had wanted so much to honor Ricardo’s love that she had alienated Antonio.  Going out of her way to make him realize that she could not be more than a friend to him…..for now.  But she had shut him out too much.  She had kept her friend so far away from her that he had kept all of his anger, his pain, his hurting inside.  She had not been there for him to let go of his sorrow.  Gabi felt ashamed for being so selfish.  She let go of the flux of tears and sank to the floor with him, watching him cry like a baby.  She wrapped her arms around him, trying to soothe some of the pain…..the same pain she was experiencing.  She did love him….and she needed to be there for him.
 
 
 

Antonio looked at her, still quivering from the sobs he was under. “Don’t give up on life Gabi…..Please……we need to help each other…..how else can we get through this…..I need to hold onto him too…..help me do this….don’t give up……we’ll find a reason to go on……he wants us too….Ricardo wants us too.” He was begging desperately, searching for hope in her eyes.
 
 
 

Gabi had found hope.  As she looked into Antonio’s eyes, she began to relish in the hope that she had been granted.  Ricardo had loved her so much that he had left her with something to always remember him by.  She would forever have a part of him with her and she was grateful to God and to Ricardo for granting her this salvation….a salvation to her life.  With tears flowing she softly spoke to Antonio, “Ricardo left me a gift…the most special gift I could ever receive from him…..” She stopped momentarily.  Her life had new meaning again. “I’m pregnant.”
 
 
 

Antonio looked at her in shock, with incredulous eyes.  He shifted directly in front of her.  He couldn’t believe what he had just heard.  Gabi was going to have a baby!  She was going to have baby!!  He was speechless.  His mouth dropped open wanting to say something, but the words were stuck, he was too consumed in joy.
 
 
 

Gabi merely smiled through her tears.  She had been feeling queasy and dizzy for a week and finally acknowledged that she might be pregnant.  She had prayed deeply.  She wanted so much to have this happen and her prayers had been answered.  Her suspicions had been confirmed that morning…..she was carrying Ricardo’s child.  She had cried buckets at the news.  She couldn’t believe that God could have granted her with such a precious gift.  She was going to have a baby….Ricardo’s baby…a baby conceived on their final night together…. a baby conceived in love and purity….a baby that would forever bind her to her true love.  She had a reason to live.  She would live for her child…and she would live for the memory of her beloved Ricardo.  The joy hit her all at once.  How bittersweet? She thought.  She grabbed Antonio’s still shocked face and looked into his eyes.  “I know now I can’t do this alone….I’ll need help.” She was now convulsed in tears. “Will you help me Antonio?…..will you help me with my baby?”  She was fully overcome, the joy and sorrow mixed together in a strange blend.
 
 
 

Antonio breathed a sigh of relief.  She needed him…..she needed him in her life….if only as a friend….she still needed him.  He would be there for her….always.  He moved to hold her and he gripped her tightly.  It would take time…so much time, but this baby was the road to recovery they all needed.  As he held a weeping Gabi in his arms, he looked up and thanked God for this gift….above all he thanked his brother….his sweet brother who was now looking down upon them….
 
 

The conclusion to “The Love of Two Men” tomorrow…

The Conclusion
 

Maria was running around the church, making sure all the final preparations were complete and perfect for tomorrow’s ceremony.  She noticed that the pictures on the table in front of where the priest would be performing the ceremony was crooked.  She quickly ran to the table and straightened the pictures out to form a neat row.  She smiled at her quick handiwork breathed out in relief. “Well……that should do it.  Everything is in its place and all things are perfect…” She grew a little worried at that point and her face twisted in a semi worried state. “Oh please let everything go well tomorrow.” She spoke out loud to herself.  “This has to be perfect.” She brought her hands to her face, staring at the picture she had just neatly put together.
 
 
 

“Everything is going to be perfect…..no worries on our end anymore.”
 
 
 

Maria turned around and saw a smiling Antonio walking her way.  He was smiling boyishly and upon reaching her, grabbed her around the waist and twirled her around.  Maria giggled like a little girl and pretended to want to be let down.  As he brought her down, they both laughed and took in the happiness they were both feeling.  Antonio was jubilant.  There was not a trace of any unhappiness in his life.  He was full of joy and happiness and his smile along with his entire demeanor, expressed it.  “Well, well, little brother…..you look like you are about to burst.  You better wipe that huge smile off of your face soon.  Otherwise it might remain permanently on your face!” Maria laughed good naturedly.  She was so glad her brother looked so happy.
 
 
 

And Antonio was.  He smiled even deeper and chuckled lightly at his sister.  “I can’t help….” He thought a little at the events of his life in the past couple of years.  “I have a lot to smile about……..I’m a lucky man Maria…..a very lucky man.” His smile slowly turned to a more pensive gaze on her.
 
 
 

Maria thought back to the last few years.  Her family had only begun to feel like normal again in the last year or so.  Ricardo’s death had been so traumatic that neither of them thought they would ever be able to go on.  His death had crushed them all.  But with time, many crying sessions, and remembrances of him, they had managed to overcome the pain and suffering they had endured.  Slowly, they had learned to cherish him without having him in their lives physically.  He was always in their thoughts and would always be in their hearts.  But the Torres family had learned to move on…..move on with life.  They had accepted that Ricardo was gone…but he was only gone body.  He would remain with them all in spirit and soul.  He had remained with them in fact.  Maria laughed and shook her head as she thought of the little spitfire who had entered their lives only four years ago.  He possessed the same passion, good nature, kindness, and love that Ricardo had.  She thought of him affectionately.  “Speaking of being lucky…..where is our little nephew anyway?”  Maria always shook her head in amusement when she thought of her nephew.  He was a kind little boy who was full of mischief and curiousity. He was always getting into bouts of trouble and he loved to ask questions.  He was always very inquisitive….only Ricardo had ever been that curious.
 
 
 

Antonio smiled whole heartedly.  He did so whenever his nephew was mentioned to him. “He’s with Gabi.”  Antonio laughed at his next thought. “Ricky decided that he needed a new pair of jeans for his party tonight.”  He continued laughing as he remembered the conversation he had had earlier with him. “He said he had to look good for his 4th birthday party tonight.  He couldn’t let anyone look sharper than him.”  Antonio nearly buckled over as he saw his nephew’s expression in his mind when he had told him this.
 
 
 

Maria was just as engrossed in the humor of Ricky’s innocence. “He’s so excited.  Between the wedding tomorrow and his birthday party tonight, I don’t know which event he finds more exciting.” She began to laugh again. “One thing is for sure, he’s going to be one tired little boy when this weekend is through.”
 
 
 

Antonio checked on his watch as he continued to smile at his sister.  He was late for an appointment with a student of his.  Besides he needed to pick up some last minute things for the wedding tomorrow and he had promised Ricky he would bring his glove over so they could play catch after they cut his cake.  “I gotta run….I have a lot to do before tonight and then tomorrow.”  Antonio let out a nervous breath of air. “Tomorrow is gonna be a day full of stress.”  He leaned in to kiss his sister.  Relishing perfume and the shear delight of having her there. “I’ll see ya at Mama’s in a few hours….tell her to not to burn the cake, ok?”  he laughed as he began walking toward the door of the church.
 
 
 

Maria turned and watched her brother leave, a wave of happiness rushing over her.  She loved Antonio very much.  And now, finally, he would be fulfilling a dream he had wanted for such a long time.  Tomorrow he was marrying the woman he loved.  Nothing made Maria happier……her family was all that mattered.
 
 
 

Gabi walked along side the edge of the grass, searching intently for what she was looking for.  She was very careful to not step over the grass where the headstones lied.  Gabi looked harder as she walked along the rows of headstones in the cemetery until she finally spotted what she had been looking for.  It had been awhile since she had visited this spiritual place.  She smiled softly as she looked at the name that was staring at her.  She felt a tug to her arm as she snapped out of the daze she had been under.
 
 
 

“Mommy…….have we found Daddy yet?”  A little voice asked her from.  He was looking at her with such innocence in his sweet little face, curiousity brimming from every angle.
 
 
 

Gabi knelt down beside him and smiled lovingly at her son.  He had dark brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes.  His skin was a golden brown and his little arms and legs were strong for a boy of only four years of age.  He smiled back at her broadly, showing his toothy grin with such delight.  Gabi felt a warmth rush through her.  She received the same sensation whenever he smiled at her in that manner.  It reminded her so much of Ricardo.  Ricky was the replica of his father.  With every day that passed, he looked more and more like Ricardo.  It amazed Gabi sometimes that any one human being could resemble another in such a fashion.  It was uncanny and her love for her son was even greater due to his remarkable resemblance to Ricardo.  Gabi caressed his little face. “Yes sweetie….this is it…..See…” Gabi pointed to the name on the headstone. “That says Ricardo Torres, loving brother and son.”  Gabi looked back on Ricky, who was studying hard on what she had pointed.
 
 
 

Ricky knelt down on the grass and placed his little hand on his father’s name.  He smiled excitedly. “Hi Daddy…..it’s me….Ricky.”  He became even more excited.  He was thrilled that he could speak to his beloved father. “Mommy brought me…..today is my birfday…..I’m four…..years….old…..today.” Ricky was counting on his hand as he spoke. “I got a new pair of jeans today so I could look really good tonight…..grandma is making me a chocolate cake…and…and….she’s having a party with Aunt Maria…and …and….Uncle Antonio….and  Mommy…and everybody.”  He smiled his toothy grin again and then it faded a little as he head tilted a little to the side.  His little face became a little sad then. “I wish you could be there…….but Mommy always says you are everywhere I’m at…….she says you look out for me…..”  Ricky shot a look to his mother, nodding his head, wanting his Gabi to agree with him. “Right mommy…that’s what you said.”  His eyes were lighting up as he breathed a little heavy from all of the excitement he was feeling.
 
 
 

Gabi was wiping a small tear from the corner of her eye and she looked at her little boy.  He was so inquisitive and innocent.  Not only did Ricky look just like Ricardo but he had the same inner personality traits that he had possessed.  Sometimes Gabi was truly amazed by the likenesses.  “Yes sweetheart……your daddy watches over you all the time.” She smoothed over parts of his unbrushed hair.  “He’s always with you.”
 
 
 

Ricky sprang to his feet and smiled deeply again at his mother.  He had brought some flowers from his Grandma Carmen’s garden and had promised he would place them on two  graves near Ricardo’s for his grandmother.  “Ok mommy…I’ll be right back.” He said after Gabi had pointed to where the graves were.  They were only three sites away, and Gabi could keep her eye on her son. He was excited to be doing a favor for his grandma, he loved her very much. “Just wait for me here mommy and I’ll be right back.” He said emphatically.  Gabi laughed sweetly as Ricky marched to place the flowers on the other graves, as she watched him.
 
 
 

Gabi’s attention slowly turned to where Ricardo layed.  She gazed upon his headstone, rereading his name over and over in her mind.  She gently placed her hands on his name and traced it with her fingers, gazing lovingly. “Ricky was so excited to see you…” Gabi kept tracing his names with her fingers. “He knows everything about you Ricardo……I’ve told him everything about you.”  Gabi began to chuckle lightly. “He’s so much like you Ricardo…..everyday that I look at him….I see you…..I see you through his eyes…..you promised you would never leave me….and you kept your promise.” A small tear dropped from the corner of her eye. “You never did.”
 
 
 

Gabi had to look away.  She eyed Ricky, who was planting the flowers and lightly talking to graves, telling them he was leaving them flowers.  Tears started rolling down Gabi’s cheek.  She had come to see Ricardo for a reason today.  It was difficult for her now….now that she was actually with him.  But she knew deep down she was ready…..and she knew deep down that he would approve.  “I came here today Ricardo.” Her voice was cracking. “I came here to tell you that….that I have found happiness again.  You gave me back my life when I gave birth to our little boy…..our beautiful little boy.  He was my reason to keep going.  But I didn’t allow myself to fully feel complete until recently.  I was so lost without you.….even with Ricky in my life….I was still lost without you Ricardo.” She trailed off and came closer to his grave. “But then it happened…..I found love again…..I found him.”  Gabi stopped again and wiped the tears away, smiling a little sadly. “Tomorrow is my wedding day Ricardo.  I’m getting married……..you were right all along…….I found Antonio again.”  Her eyes closed as she thought of Antonio, the only other man who had ever been able to capture her heart. “I haven’t been able to let you go.  For so many years, I didn’t want anyone to come close to me.  I wanted to keep your memory and honor our love forever. That’s how powerful and strong my love for you is.  Antonio was always there, always there to comfort me, love me…” Gabi again had to stop.  This was extremely difficult for her. “He’s always loved me…but you already knew that.  I did too but I never wanted to admit it to myself.  Most of all, I never wanted to admit that I------I love him too.” Her tears were once again flowing as she once again touched the name of the man she had been faithful to for so long. “I never thought I would be able to let you go….you are so much a part of me.  But I can’t hold on this tightly anymore Ricardo…..I have to finally let you go my love…” She was shaking all over and her voice was quivering. “I have to let you go now……..Oh…….this is so hard for me…..” She calmed herself and placed her hand over her mouth, taking in a breath. “I know you understand…..I am finally able to keep the promise I made to you so long ago.  I’m letting you go.  I’m letting our love rest for now.  You were always right….I always had enough love to give.  I’ve given it to Antonio…..and I’m so happy that I was finally able too.”  Gabi placed her gaze on her son again, who was now slowly walking back to her, his eyes wandering all over with curiosity.  Then she stood and stared again at Ricardo’s headstone. “I will always love you…..You will never be far from my heart….you never could be…….I know that you know that……and I know that you approve of me.”  She dropped her head and swallowed the lump, feeling more relieved than she had ever been before.  “Goodbye for now my love……thank you.”  She leaned in and placed two fingers on her lips, kissing them.  Then she brought her two fingers to the top of his headstone, smiling down upon him.
 
 
 

“Mommy……” His little voice showed a little concern. “Mommy…..don’t cry…….Daddy wouldn’t want to see you cry. “He suddenly smiled broadly at her. “Today is a happy day…it’s my birfday!! And tomorrow….you get married to Uncle Antonio…..” He was trying cheer his mother up.  He hated to see her upset.
 
 
 

Gabi laughed through her tears and knelt down beside him.  Grabbing his little face and planting a kiss on his cheek.  She gently brought him to her and hugged him.  A hug he eagerly returned. “I’m crying because I’m so happy.” She pulled away from him and gazed at him lovingly.  How she adored her son. “I was just telling your Daddy how proud I am of you.”
 
 
 

Ricky’s eyes beamed at the thought of his father.  Ricky idolized him in every way. “And mommy…do you think…um….that he’s proud of me?” He looked so excited at the concept that his beloved father could really be proud of him.
 
 

Gabi grabbed his small nose and smile again. “Yes sweetheart, I know for a fact that he’s very proud of you…..he’s proud of both of us.”  She stood up and grabbed his hand. “We better get going….we have to be at your Abuelita Carmen’s soon and I have a lot to do still.”  She looked back one more time at Ricardo’s name and smiled.
 
 
 

Ricky stopped suddenly and turned back.  He had one more flower left in his hands.  He bent down on the grass and placed the flower right beside the headstone, then he grabbed his mother’s hand again. “I love you Daddy….see you soon.”  He smiled the same toothy grin that had been trademarked by his father.
 
 

Gabi and Ricky walked hand and hand out of the cemetery.  They were excited at the beautiful weekend that lay before them.
 
 
 

Antonio was busy grading papers when he heard the door fly open.  Blowing in like the wind was his energized nephew.  He ran straight for him into his arms.  Antonio laughed as Ricky pulled from him, wanting to talk but out of breath from the grand entrance he had made. “Ricky…slow down……catch your breath, champ.”  Antonio mussed his hair and kissed him on the head.
 
 
 

Ricky was so excited.  Still breathing hard he began to talk.” Uncle Antonio!! We have to go…grandma….(pant, pant) she’s waiting for us, (pant, pant) , we gotta go!!”  He was pulling on Antonio’s hand to get up.
 
 
 

Antonio couldn’t help but get pulled into the excitement of his nephew.  He picked him up and spun him around like an airplane until they both landed the couch, laughing hysterically at their play.  They began tickling each other when they heard a stern voice from behind them.
 
 
 

“Ok…..boys…..enough….we have to get ready……no more horseplay for now.”
 
 
 

Antonio turned around and saw a pretend look of disapproval on Gabi’s face.  He could tell that she was hiding a smile behind somewhere.  He and Ricky quickly got up and looked at each other, smiling mischievously.   They stepped over the couch and landed in front of her.  They knew that would upset her more.
 
 
 

“Antonio!!  Why did you do that?!  You know how Ricky mimics everything you do…he’s going to be running all over the couch now..and I’m the one who is going to end up cleaning it time and time again…..I can’t believe that you two could---“ She didn’t get a chance to finish.
 
 
 

Antonio drew her to him and kissed her tenderly to stop her from talking.  Whenever she got mad at him, which was a lot since Ricky would get him into trouble, he would use this maneuver.  It always seemed to work.  Gabi melted in his arms as he did in hers.  They pulled apart, gazing into each other’s eyes.  Gabi could never stay mad for long at the two most important men in her life.  They were so entranced by the kiss and their gaze, that when they felt a tug of their arms, they were startled.  They both looked down and there was Ricky, looking a little embarrassed but very happy that everyone was so happy.
 
 
 

“Are we gonna go soooooooonnnnnn!!” He was eager to go to his party.
 
 
 

Antonio and Gabi both laughed at his impatience, the impatience of a normal little boy of four years of age.  Gabi bent down and kissed him. “Yes…we’re going soon.  Just go upstairs and change into those pants we bought and we’ll go…ok?” She smiled at him.
 
 
 

“Ok!!….I’ll be back faster than a power ranger can change into his superhero clothes!!”  He ran past both of them, making swishing sounds and ran up the stairs to get ready for his party.
 
 
 

Antonio laughed as he continued to hold Gabi close to him.  A wave of warmth ran through him.  It was a feeling he got whenever she was near him. “I can’t decide whether he’s more excited about his birthday party or the wedding tomorrow.” He kissed Gabi again, relishing in her soft lips. “I know which one I’m more excited for.” He smiled lovingly at her.
 
 
 

Gabi was so full of happiness, she didn’t now to contain herself.  She loved Antonio dearly and now, finally, after so many years of his waiting for her, she would be his wife.  She would love him as he deserved to be loved and nothing made her happier.  She caressed his neck as she gazed into his eyes.  Gabi was happy.  She hoped to always be this happy.
 
 
 

Antonio noticed that her mind temporarily wandered.  He pursed his lips.  He knew what she was thinking about.  It was the same thing he had been thinking of as well.  Ricardo was flashing through their minds.  Antonio knew that Gabi could never forget the love she shared with his brother.  He had always known that he would hold a very special place in her heart.  He had been everything to both of them, but they had finally been able to let him go.  Antonio knew clearly that it had only been recently that Gabi had finally been able to let Ricardo go from her life.  What he didn’t know was that she had done it that very day.  He thought of Ricardo daily.  How could he not….he had Ricky in his life, a  beautiful reminder of his brother.  He had promised Ricardo, when Ricky had been born, that he would love him as Ricardo would have loved him.  And Antonio had not wavered on his promise.  He loved Ricky dearly and he always would.  Ricky and Gabi were his life and that was how it would always be.  Antonio lifted Gabi’s chin with his hand and she looked at him. “We’re going to be happy Gabi…..everything is going to be ok…..I promise.” He loved her so much and now he would finally have the chance to prove just how much.
 
 
 

Gabi was overwhelmed by his love.  She loved him too.  She was ready to move on with Antonio and she was ecstatic that they would be spending their life together.  Antonio let go of her and grabbed a picture frame from the table by them.  It was a picture of Ricardo.  He stared at it and then at her.  “See Gabi….my brother is smiling at us……look how happy he is.” He had a tear coming down.
 
 
 

Gabi began to cry.  She grabbed for Antonio and held him tightly.  As she pulled away slightly, still in his arms, she gazed at the picture of Ricardo. “Yes…..he is smiling at us….and I know that he’s just as happy as we are….”  Gabi kissed Antonio softly. “I love you Antonio.”  She said with much emotion in her already quivering voice.
 
 
 

Antonio felt the same warmth all over again, staring into the eyes of the woman he had always loved. “I love you Gabi….always.”
 
 
 

Their arms intertwined their eyes looked upon Ricardo’s picture.  Many obstacles had been overcome and now, Antonio and Gabi could be happy…they could be happy knowing that Ricardo would always be smiling down upon them.
 
 
 

THE END