She smiled at the image of the two people before her. How long it had been since she had felt those lips touch her own, since those strong able arms had held her. She needed him so much. She almost hadn't been able to continue her life after he had gone. Everything had seemed wrong, as if something were missing from everything. Food had lost all taste, everything she had enjoyed while he was with her now seemed unworthwhile. She had lost interest in everything. People had worried, fussed over her. She had even been hospitalized a few times. Nothing had helped. It had been useless to even try to explain to anyone what she had gone through. They all assumed that after a while she would return to normal, but she knew that when he left, she had gone with him. She did resume her old schedule, but it was just a facade. Nothing was real. What was left behind, what everyone saw was just a shell, leftover from her life with him. The days passed quickly, months turned into years. She'd even resumed an old relationship. The wedding had been the worst day of her life, but it had been worth it to be able to keep up her playacting. She did love her children, but only because they favored him so much. She could easily pretend that they were actually his. She spent days watching them play and imagining that he was next to her, his arm around her shoulders, whispering in her ear that he loved her. All of her friendships faded to the background, as the life she imagined became more and more reality to her. Her husband worried when she insisted he work instead of joining them for a picnic, or at a school function. With him there, she couldn't pretend. Two decades had passed since she had looked into his eyes. It had been such a short period of time, and such a long one. She ran a finger over the figure on the paper. There was no nostalgia, she didn't miss him. He was with her. He always had been, and she knew he would be forever.
 
 
 

 Ricardo Torres looked out the window at his wife. He knew she had been going through old boxes in the garage, and had found something. Something she had been staring at for the past half-hour. He worried about her so much, even more lately. The kids had both moved out recently, but he could tell that was not it. She had been like this for many years. About twenty, he thought to himself. She had taken Antonio's death so much harder than anyone else had. He still wondered why sometimes.
 

FOREVER PREQUEL
 
 “Antonio!” Gabi called out to him. Her heart skipped a beat, as it always did when she saw him. He was so handsome…

 “Gabi, hey. What’s up?” He called out to her as he walked across the cool sand. It was early morning, and he had been out for his daily jog. It didn’t escape Gabi that the sleeveless muscle shirt he wore showed his muscular arms, his tanned skin… She forced the thoughts out of her mind. She had come here to tell him something, and she was not going to let herself get distracted.

 “I need to talk to you, Antonio. There are some things that I need to tell you.” His eyes darkened in confusion. What could Gabi have to tell him? They had said everything that needed to be said a few days before, when she had resolved to stay with Ricardo, and he chosen to stay with the priesthood. Could it be possible that she had maybe… changed her mind? No, he pushed the thought out of his mind. By thinking that, he was only torturing himself with thoughts of what could not, and would not, be.

 “Sure, Gabi. Is something wrong?” He was worried about her, she could see that in his eyes. Along with a deep love, a love meant for her. That was something that she wanted to see in his dark eyes forever.

 “Not really. I just need to talk to you. Privately.” Antonio seemed to understand the hidden seriousness to her words. He glanced around for somewhere that they could talk without interruption, but the beach was packed. There was no way they could be alone here.

 “Okay…why don’t we take a walk. It’s not very crowded over there.” He pointed towards a secluded area of the otherwise crowded beach.

 “That’s a fine spot.”  Gabi followed him away from the groups of sunbathers and early morning swimmers. Soon, they could no longer hear the voices, and the people were simply spots of color in the background.

 “So, what is it that you want to talk to me about, Gabi? Is it something about Ricardo and you?” If it was Gabi simply gushing on and on about her upcoming wedding to his brother, Antonio wanted to avoid it. Hearing how in love the woman that his heart belonged to and his brother were was not exactly how he wanted to spend his morning.

 “No… Not really.” Antonio was relieved to hear that, but he wondered why she wanted to talk to him. “Antonio, this is about us.”

 “Us?” He asked. Gabi reached over and took his hand, and he could see how hard this was for her.

 “Antonio…I don’t know how to say this…” She took a deep breath. “Antonio, I lo-“

 “BEEP.” The annoying beep of Antonio’s pager interrupted Gabi’s confession. He immediately picked it up, and with reluctance, set it back down.

 “Gabi, this is an emergency…I have to go to the mission.” He said, seeing the disappointment in her eyes.

 “So is this.” Gabi said quietly. Antonio could see how important whatever she was trying to tell him was, but he really needed to check in with the mission. The archbishop was scheduled to visit today, and Father O’Brian was out of town, so Antonio needed to be there to greet him.

 “I know, Gabi. Look, this won’t take long, I promise. Why don’t we go to the mission, and I’ll see what’s wrong, then we can go get some breakfast and you can talk to me there.” He said. He really did want to know what was wrong with her. He just couldn’t neglect his duties.

 “All right. Why don’t we meet at the Shockwave, though? I need to go home and change.” She said. Antonio thought she looked absolutely stunning as she was, but then again, he loved her in anything.

 “Sure. That sounds great.” He began to turn, but then he saw Gabi looking at him in a way she hadn’t since…since the cave in. Tears were welling in her eyes, and he reached over to take her in his arms. She clung to him tightly as she could, and he held her just as tightly. Something between them had changed. Or was changing.

Antonio loved the way she felt in his arms, and he wanted to hold her like this forever. Unfortunately, the persistent beep-beep of his pager forced him to pull away after a few minutes. By then, her tears had dried, but the look in her eyes remained the same.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay?” Antonio said, his arms still lingering on her shoulders.

“Yes.” She replied and he pulled away, but not before placing a gentle kiss of her forehead.
 
 
 

“Father Antonio? We just wanted to let you know that the archbishop will be arriving in two hours.” Sister Margaret reported when Antonio arrived at the mission. He felt momentary annoyment. This was why he had had to put off Gabi? He still had two hours!

“Thank you. I have a breakfast meeting with someone, but I’ll be back as soon as I’m done there.” He said. He quickly changed into his priestly garb, and hurried out to meet Gabi.
 

Gabi was standing outside the entrance to the Shockwave, eagerly awaiting Antonio’s arrival. She was going to tell him immediately, she felt like she couldn’t hold it in any longer than that.

Luckily, she hadn’t run into Ricardo at the loft, so that was one less thing to worry about. She had changed and left in less than five minutes. Self consciously, she tucked her hair behind her ear and straightened out the dress she had chosen especially because she knew how much Antonio liked it. It was a light, breezy sundress made of a soft, silky navy blue material.

“Come on, Antonio…where are you?” She mumbled to herself, growing more impatient by the minute.
 
 
 

Antonio rushed out of the rectory, hurrying so he wouldn’t be late. Gabi was probably already at the Shockwave and waiting for him by now. He hadn’t meant to take so long, but as he had been about to walk out the door, a parishioner had approached him, and it had taken a while to get away from the worried mother.

He stood impatiently at the corner of the street, waiting for the traffic light to turn green so he could walk across the street. As the cars flew by, he caught a glimpse of Gabi waiting in front of the entrance to the Shockwave. She looked stunning in a loose fitting summery dress that Antonio had always been fond of. He tried to catch her attention, but it was useless. She was studying her reflection in the mirror.

Down the road, he could hear loud music pouring from a car filled with dangerous looking teens. As they neared the curve Antonio was standing by, Gabi finally turned around. He caught her eye just as a deafening crash filled his head. He heard screaming all around him as he fell to the ground. He was confused for a few minutes...why was everyone crowding around him? He heard Gabi near him…very near him. She was crying his name… she sounded so sad. Why was Gabi crying?

“Antonio…oh, God, Antonio…I’m so sorry! This is all my fault. Hang on, please…please Antonio you can’t leave me…” Antonio dredged up the strength to open his eyes…everything had been dark, peaceful for a few minutes…then Gabi had brought him back.

All of sudden, Antonio felt a sharp, agonizing pain in his chest. He gasped at the surprising and decidedly unpleasant sensation. Gabi’s hand felt cool and comforting on his face and he tried to calm her worries…but when he tried to speak, the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth.

“Wha…” He tried again to say. He didn’t need to speak any more words. Gabi understood.

“You’ve been shot, Antonio. Don’t speak, the ambulance is on the way.” She said in a strangled voice. She could see that something was really wrong with Antonio, she could see it in his eyes. “Antonio, I need to tell you…to tell you what I was going to tell you on the beach. I love you, Antonio. I always have, and I always will, no matter what happens to you.”

“Shot…” He muttered. He couldn’t believe it…he wasn’t shot…was he? But that made sense. The noise he had heard…the dangerous looking car full of punks…the pain he was feeling, and the look in Gabi’s eyes…he was dying. She could see it, and now, so could he. So this is what it’s like…he briefly thought.

Antonio felt himself growing lighter. The pain was receding already. He felt much better…he was ready to go now…but… this wasn’t right. He couldn’t leave Gabi, not yet. There was so much he still needed to say to her.

“I…” He tried to say, forcing his heavy eyelids open. “I…

“No, Antonio, I know. I know, baby…you don’t have to say it.” Gabi insisted, but Antonio needed to say it. He needed to tell her before he left.

“I… love… you…Gabi.” He whispered into her ear. “Let…my brother… take care…of …you.”

He wanted Gabi to be safe. He wanted her to get on with her life without him, and Ricardo would do that for her. He also knew that her heart was safe, because it belonged to him. Antonio would keep her love, but Ricardo would care for her soul.

“Antonio…no, I can’t do that…I love you! I can’t be with Ricardo. I…I won’t, Antonio…” She claimed, but he knew that she would carry out his wishes, no matter what they were. He was glad that he wouldn’t have to worry about her. He didn’t have much time…he could feel his end nearing.

He wanted to tell her goodbye, but he couldn’t. He could do nothing but let his life slowly fade away…and let Gabi’s begin.

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