“Gabi?” Antonio Torres said to his sister in law as he stepped into the loft she shared with her husband, his brother. “Gabi, is something wrong? You’re…you’re crying.” He observed her lying on the bed; her face buried in a pillow as her hand clutched at a photograph. Immediately, he was at her side.
“Nothing’s wrong…not really…I mean, I was just…” Gabriella Martinez sat up and smiled to alleviate his worry. “I was just remembering…” She looked down at the photo, which was hidden from Antonio’s view, and debated whether to tell him. She had not told anyone in Sunset Beach yet…but she could not think of anyone that she would like to share the story with more than Antonio. She offered the picture to him and he looked down to see a young child with big dark eyes that had the sparkle of laughter in then and a warm dimpled grin that he had a feeling could brighten any day. Upon studying it further, he saw the resemblance between Gabi herself and that young girl, a striking resemblance.
“This is you?” He guessed, and Gabi smiled regretfully and shook her head. “Who…who is it then?”
“It’s my little sister.” She said, and the surprise was evident in his eyes.
“I…I didn’t know you had a little sister, Gabi. Why didn’t you ever tell me? Where’s she at, why don’t you ever talk?” He inquired and Gabi gestured to the open space on the bed next to her, wanting him to sit down. He did, moving a little closer to her than necessary.
“Her name was Isabelle. I was two years older than she was, and I loved her more than anything. Momi died giving birth, did I tell you that? Not to Isi, but to a baby boy, he died less than a month later. His name was Tomas. Isi and I used to dream about what it would have been like to have a baby brother. She was more upset by his death than Momi’s, I think. She loved children and she got along great with them, ones younger than she was I mean. God, I miss her so much…” Gabi trailed off, then remember that she had an audience and continued. “Momi had a lot of miscarriages towards the end. Popi wanted a little boy; he didn’t care if it did kill her. She was a small woman, that’s where I get my size from…Isi was taller, like Popi. By the time she was eight she towered over me! But…I think Momi had almost five miscarriages before she gave birth to Tomas. Popi was furious when he died, and he took it out on Isi and me. I was always weaker than she was, she usually teased me about having to protect her big sister. She loved to tease; she had a great sense of humor.” Gabi paused, looking over to see how Antonio was taking in all of this knowledge about her past.
“Go on, please…” He said, fascinated by all that she was revealing to him. It gave him a secure feeling to know that she had never told anyone (namely, his brother) about these things. They were obviously memories she held sacred to her heart.
“Isi was everything I wasn’t…but I wasn’t jealous at all. She was tall, beautiful, smart, and athletic. She got the great grades and the great guys.” Gabi grinned nostalgically. “But I loved her so much…Popi did too. That’s why he never…he didn’t… do to her the things he did to me,” She quickly moved on, adding. “I’m glad though. It would have killed me to know she had to go through those things. Isi was my whole world, Antonio…there was nothing else important to me. I would have given my life to keep her from pain without a second’s doubt. That’s why it almost killed me when…when it happened…” She started crying again, soft sobs. She took a moment to get her tears under control, then kept on in a shaky voice. “She died…was killed…”
“Oh, Gabi…I’m so sorry…” Antonio moved to take her into his arms and she was grateful to him. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to…”
But she did. It had been a lifetime since she had opened the top to the little box in her chest that these memories were sealed away in and it felt good to blow away the dust and to let someone else share the burden of never forgetting the forever 12 year old Isabelle. “I want to,” Gabi said in a weary but determined voice. She took a deep breath then began telling her tale again. “I was fourteen, Isi was twelve. She was so young…but she had seen almost as much horror as I had. Popi never raped her, he never abused her, not intentionally, anyway, but she wasn’t blind, she saw what he did to me. It scared her…that was the only time I really felt that I was the more mature one, when she would come into my room after it happened. She would be crying harder that me; it scared her so much. I did my best to hide the…the damage, but she saw a lot of the bruises and the blood…too much for someone so young. I told her repeatedly not to come to me, that it would only frighten her but she did it anyway. I think she just wanted to convince herself that I was still alive, that Popi hadn’t killed me or anything… it got that bad sometimes. And after she was gone, a lot of the time I wished he had killed me. With Isi there, I could close my eyes and think ‘I have to get through this for her, she needs me’ but when she was gone, there was no reason to want to go on. None at all…until, of course, I got the idea in my head to come after Paula. Somehow, I thought that it should have been her, that Paula should have died not Isi because Isi deserved to live. I guess…because I didn’t know Paula, that she deserved to die more than Isi. I know that was a stupid was to think, but it gave me something to live for at least.” Gabi took another breath and chuckled softly, giving Antonio a wry look. “What a thing to live for, huh?”
“If the need for revenge is what got you here, I can’t complain…everyone has to start somewhere. At least you’ve realized that there are other things you can look forward to.” He said in a warm voice, reminding her that he was one of the things that she lived for. “But go on, you haven’t said how Isi…how she…”
“Died? Okay, I’ll tell you that next. But…could you get me some water? My throat’s a little dry…” She asked. Antonio stood up, and while he was fixing her water, Gabi looked down at the photograph Antonio had been studying again. ‘I miss you so much, Isi…why couldn’t you be here to share this happiness with me?’ Gabi looked over to Antonio, who met her eyes and smiled at her. ‘You would love him just as much as I do, I know it Isi. Maybe…maybe you could have fallen for Ricardo, and then I could have had Antonio…’ Gabi said and laughed a little, then quickly scolded herself. She was Ricardo’s wife. She had no reason to be saying things like that!
“What’s so funny?” Antonio asked as he handed her the tall, cold glass of water. “I heard you laughing.”
“Oh…nothing…” She said, looking down at the picture again, then back at him. “My father killed Isi. He thought she was me…she had come into my bedroom because she had a nightmare, and since my bed was so small when she fell asleep, I went into her room to stay for the night. Popi was drunk…he didn’t bother to look and make sure it was me he was forcing himself on. He hit her…again and again, she couldn’t take it. She started to fight back, and Popi got mad. I never fought back…but I guess he was too drunk to realize that. He hit her harder, so she slapped him. I heard her scream, and I ran in the room. I saw him do it, from the doorway. He slammed her head against the bedpost. I could hear…the crack as the bone met the hard metal…oh god, after all these years I can still hear it so clearly.” Antonio’s arms went around her again and she leaned into them. "He killed her then…she died and left me alone with him. As angry as I was at Popi, as much as I hated him, I couldn’t make myself blame him more than I blamed me. It should have been me in that bed! If it had been me, I wouldn’t have fought and Isi would still be alive and with me…”
“You don’t still blame yourself, do you Gabi?” Antonio asked and her eyes refused to meet his. “You can’t, Gabi. You can’t blame yourself for your sister dying, you know that don’t you? Isabelle died because of your father’s cruelty and his stupidity. Not because of you.”
“I…oh, Antonio…do you know that’s the first time anyone has told me that? I guess…I always knew deep down that Popi was more to blame, but I couldn’t help but take the brunt of it myself. Thank you so much…” She moved closer to him, nuzzling her face into his neck warmly. “I still miss her just as much as I did the day we buried her. She would be almost 24…just beginning to live her life.”
“Like you are…” Antonio pointed out. “Your sister shouldn’t have died, I know that, but she did. And you blamed your Paula…that lead you to Sunset Beach…and me.” Antonio said, then hastily added, “And Ricardo, of course.”
“You’re right,” Gabi looked up at him, her lips grazing his ever so lightly. “Isi would have loved you just as much as I do, I know it Antonio.”
His heart glowed at her comment and he knew that with her trust in him about this painful topic their relationship, as friends and as more, had been taken to a new level. He held her tightly for a moment more then released her, lest they go too far. Maybe someday…Antonio wasn’t quite ready to give up his dream woman…maybe someday…somehow…things would work out. “I won’t forget what you’ve told me Gabi…about your sister. I’ll help keep her alive for you.”
“That means a lot to me, Antonio…” She whispered,
tears threatening to spill over again. “And I know it means a lot to Isi.”
She gazed down at the picture again, knowing that somewhere Isabelle Martinez
was looking down at her big sister and smiling.