RICARDO
"Ricardo, I can't tell you how glad I am that you're giving us another chance. We do belong together, I'm going to prove it to you." Gabi says with disgustingly cheery optimism. It makes me sick just to see her like that. She's so certain that I've forgiven her and that everything between us is going to be just the way that it was with no pain or anger at all. Well, she's in for a big disappointment. "Ricardo? Are you ready to go?"
I stare at her until she shifts on her feet,
nervous and uncomfortable. I like doing that, just to keep her on her toes.
"Yeah. I'm ready. I'm not surprised that you're so anxious to leave, though.
You always did like going to see Antonio, didn't you? Are you sure we should
go? Can I really trust you?"
Making Gabi suffer had been an extremely enjoyable
sport for the past few weeks, something that had passed the time very well,
but for some reason the tears that well in her eyes don't bring the usual
satisfaction. In fact, I think I'm beginning to feel something else for
her. It's not love; I know that for sure. The moment that I saw her and
Antonio on that tape, all the love that I felt for her died. But…but I'm
not so sure that I'm angry with Gabi anymore. It seems more like I pity
her. She isn't evil; Mama was wrong about that. She's just not worth all
of the pain that she carries around. Gabi Martinez, when I first met her,
was a very confused woman. The Gabi Torres that is my wife is every bit
as confused, and maybe even a bit more angry. And I won't deny that part
of me does love her, and always will, but I'm am definitely not in love
with her. I made that mistake once, and once is all I will allow myself.
"Ricardo, you can tru-" She began to defend herself, and once again pledge her undying love, but I cut her off.
"Save it, Gab. I shouldn't have said that." She looks more relieved that she has in a while. "Let's go."
Off to see my brother. My wonderful, dedicated
holy little brother. The one that I stood up for when he was a kid in junior
high and I was a senior in high school. The annoying pest that I fixed
up on blind dates so he wouldn't follow around my girlfriend and me. And,
God damn him, the one that I loved like a best friend as well as a brother.
Seeing how easily my little brother
could betray me, it almost scared me. We were so close, we talked and laughed
together as kids and adults, and it hurt me so much to see him and the
woman that I loved. It hurt a hell of a lot more than the fact that Gabi
had betrayed me. Well, T was going to get what he deserved. Him and Gabi
alike. Despite what I felt for Gabi, sympathy and pity or anger and hatred,
none of the emotions made a difference. They had both hurt me, and they
would both pay.
GABI
"Ricardo! Hey, bro! Gabi…" After greeting Ricardo with a friendly hug, Antonio nodded towards me briefly. I try not to show how much it bothers me that he seems to have brushed me aside so easily. Then again, I think to myself, he has to do that. And it's probably a good idea, anyway. The last thing Ricardo needs to see is Antonio welcoming me like we were…best friends. Like we were best friends.
"Hi, T." Though Antonio doesn't seem to notice, I can hear the anger behind Ricardo's words.
"So, what are you two here for?" Antonio asked, a tired smile firmly placed on his face. It makes my heart ache to see how overworked he is. He tries so hard to the perfect priest…the perfect person. And I'm probably the only person that knows how much he agonizes over his flaws. Like me…I'm one of his flaws. A constant reminder of how he failed. Well, I'm not going to do that anymore. I am going to be the model wife, and Antonio will never, never know that Ricardo is aware of what we did. That would only add to his worries.
"Came to check in on my little brother." Ricardo said, masking his annoyance almost perfectly. "Gabi couldn't wait to come see you." A double-edged comment, typical Ricardo. It makes my heart skip a beat to see the interest in Antonio gorgeous eyes as they glance my way. I, of course, look down immediately. Just looking into those soulful, probing eyes make me want to spill all of my secrets. But Antonio deserves better than that. He deserves better than me, and I won't be the reason that he looses his life…the one that he really does deserve.
"Really…well, I'm doing fine. I'm going to head down to the Youth Center in about half an hour. The group of teens that I head has some kind of problem that they want me to attend to." He explains, and once again I'm struck by how much of himself he devotes to the happiness of others. I feel so…so proud of him.
"That's great, Antonio. It's really amazing how much you help those kids. Not everyone would do that. It takes a special person to be that kind." Uh-oh. Ricardo doesn't seem to take to well to that. It just jumped out of my mouth, and I know I shouldn't have said it with so much warmth and pride.
Antonio is pleased, though. He glows with the compliment, and I'm glad to see that some of the weariness is gone, though he still looks like he could use a couple of days worth of sleep. Then again, it's not my place to worry about Antonio Torres, is it?
"Thanks, Gabi. That means a lot coming from you." His voice is soft, meaningful, and as Ricardo's head turns to watch us both, our eyes lock. My heart begins to pound, afraid that as I stated earlier, with that one look Antonio would be able to tell all of my secrets. The gaze we share is so intimate, so intense…
Then Ricardo clears his throat subtly, and I tear myself away from those enigmatic windows of the soul, ashamed to have fallen into his unintended trap so easily.
"I…Ricardo…we should go. Antonio has an appointment to get to, don't you, Antonio?" I say, with my head cast downward to avoid being caught in that troubled stare that I know is being directed at me…from both brothers.
Antonio
"You have to leave? But you just got here…I don't have to be at the Youth Center for almost half an hour, and it's only five minutes walking distance. Stay a little longer, please." My comment is directed at Ricardo, but it's really Gabi that I want to stay. A sinful as it is, I don't want to see her go.
"Of course we can, T. Gab doesn't mind, do you babe?" I can see her wince at his chauvinistic name, and it makes me angry that he degrades her like that. Why can't he see how she takes it as a blow to her self-esteem? After her history with men, the last thing that Gabi needs is someone to make her feel horrible about herself. If she were mine…but she's not, is she? Gabi isn't mine. She doesn't need to me protect her…she has my brother.
"Of course I don't, Ricardo. I just didn't want Antonio to be late." She says, studying the floor intently. She seems so eager to avoid me. I have to say it hurts. But why shouldn't she? She doesn't love me anymore, she probably never did. She just such a loving person…such an incredible woman. Oh God, why can't I stop thinking of her? I pray so hard that sometimes I think that God is purposely ignoring me because I pray too much!
"How nice of you to worry about Antonio." Ricardo says, and though it seems like a perfectly normal comment to me, we are friends after all, but for some reason it really upsets Gabi. "After all, he is your best friend. You two mean so much to each other…of course you worry about him. It's perfectly normal." And it is…isn't it? I mean, Ricardo knows how close we are…but Gabi is really shaken by his words, I can tell almost immediately. And as my brother continues to talk, she's growing more and more distraught. "You two have been close since the moment T came to town. You were even trapped together in that ca-"
"I'll be right back!" Gabi says, almost sobbing as she bolts out of the room. Immediately I jump up to follow her, but Ricardo grabs my arm.
"Let her go, T, she's okay. Probably just that time of the month." God, it angers me how ignorant he is sometimes, but I can't say anything like that, not to him.
"Yeah, well I'm just going to make sure she's okay." I say, and am gone before he can say a word to stop me.
"Gabi? Gabi, where are you?" I call out as I make my way down the hall and into the chapel. She's not in the bathroom, I know since I had one of the sisters check for me, and I realize after a quick glance around that she isn't in the chapel either…I don't know where else to look. Thinking that maybe Ricardo was right, and she had already gone back to my office and was perfectly fine with Ricardo there, I turn around to head back myself. But as soon as I turn the sight of Gabi jumps out at me. She's sitting on a bench in the back of the room with her head buried in her arms sobbing.
I walk up to her, overcome with worry and pain that she may be hurt. Softly, I place a hand on her trembling shoulder. From the way she jumps, I know that she must not have noticed me come into the chapel.
"Antonio!" She half sighs, half sobs my name as I sit next to her.
"Gabi, what’s wrong?" I ask, staring at her adamantly. She avoids my gaze and gently, almost as if afraid I would push her away, laid her head on my shoulder. Just as hesitantly, I begin to stroke her hair.
"Oh, Antonio…" She sighs again as her tears begin to dry up. Carefully, my arms slide around her waist. It feels so amazing to hold her again. As my hand begins to caress her back, she stiffens and pulls back. "I'm sorry, Antonio, I shouldn't have…I didn't mean for you to…"
"It's all right, Gabi. I understand," I say, even though it isn't fully true. It seems like the right thing to say, and Gabi seems comforted by it.
"I know you do, Antonio. You're the only one who does…We should go back." She says, pulling away from me. I hate that. No matter where we are, what we're doing, how close we’re getting; one of us always has to pull back. Then again, we both know what would happen if we didn't.
"All right." It's not my place to force her into talking. So I'll do as I always do and deliver the love of my life back into the hands of my brother, where she belongs.
Gabi
As I pull away from Antonio, I know that he's going to do exactly what he has to do. The love of my life is going to deliver me back into the hands of my husband, where I belong.
Ricardo
Gabi and Antonio may be together wherever they are, but I know that my loyal little brother is going to do exactly what he has to do. He's going to deliver my wife back into my hands, where she belongs.